The Joy Of Recovering From The Ego

Dr. LaitmanThe desire to fulfill the goal of our life is tantamount to observing the Torah, acquiring a soul, or implementing the wisdom of Kabbalah. It’s all the same thing. According to the wisdom of Kabbalah a human being, Adam, is anyone who resembles the Creator. The Creator is absolute love and bestowal.

When I begin to study the wisdom of Kabbalah and to work in a group I examine myself and then I discover that I only think about myself. I am built as an egoist and that is normal since the Creator created the evil inclination in man.

If I realize that, it is an achievement before the start of the new year (Rosh HaShana) because I understand that I am a complete egoist and that I am totally in the intention of in order to receive. An ordinary person would not agree with this since in order to understand that, we have to study and draw the Light that Reforms.

When I reveal my ego, I regret my actions, and that is called the period of penance (Selichot) before the new year. I discover that I am totally corrupt.

Thus I comprehend the first part of the saying, “I have created the evil inclination.” The second part is: “I have created the Torah as a spice,” and so I begin to look for a way to change myself.

My intention to change is called the beginning of the new year. Instead of Pharaoh, I crown the Creator as my king and use His power of love and bestowal in order to correct myself. The new year is the desire to correct myself and to attain a new level: to learn to love.

I have to examine and sort out all my 613 desires in order to do that. This is called the ten days of atonement between Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur. Of course, it is my attitude towards others that I examine and not my ordinary corporeal desires for food, sleep, and recreation.

I examine whether I feel a desire to benefit others in any way, and I discover that I don’t! Even if I give something to someone, it is only for my own benefit. Thus I arrive at the ten days of repentance in which I perform special actions that draw a special Light on me every day. With the help of the Light, I sort out my desires and distinguish between desires that can be corrected and those that cannot be.

It says that the answer is that the letter “Hey – ה” should return to “Vav – ו,” which means that Malchut (the fifth Sefira) should return to Zeir Anpin. Malchut is my desire to receive, and Zeir Anpin means the Creator. I examine which desires in me and to what extent I can use them in order to bestow unto others and not for my own benefit. This is called complete atonement, which means examining my heart with regard to others that indicates to what extent I resemble the Creator.

Therefore it is said, “in the place where those who repent stand, complete righteous do not stand.” After all, a complete righteous has already reached a certain level of correction, and a person who repents gradually ascends higher and higher towards the Creator.

The ten days of atonement and Yom Kippur are a search and examination of all my ten Sefirot (613 desires) after which I am ready for correction and want to resemble the Creator with all my might. I am a person who repents and now it is clear which desires I can correct and which I cannot. With this realization I reach Sukkot, the Lights that correct all the evil in me into goodness.

After Sukkot there is the holiday of Simchat Torah (rejoicing with the Torah) since the Torah is the Light that Reforms and I use it in order to reform myself. During the ten days of atonement I wanted to return the Hey to the Vav, that is, to the Creator, and in Sukkot I fulfill this by using the whole Torah and becoming like the Creator.

The eighth day of Sukkot is Shemini Atzeret, (stemming from Hebrew word “atsarti – stay”), in which I stay my correction since there is nothing more I can correct, and fully corrected, I enter the holiday of Simcaht Torah.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 9/30/14

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