Entries in the 'Man and Woman' Category

Help Create A Family

laitman_622_02Question: Is correction possible with asceticism and isolation? If not, then why is this so widespread?

Answer: This is widespread because people are used to this form of life. In ancient times, they behaved this way to allegedly “kill” the flesh. But this does not correspond  to Kabbalistic principles.

The mortification of the flesh doesn’t come from and has nothing to do with Kabbalah. Therefore, according to the wisdom of Kabbalah, one must not remain single.

We need to help single people organize their lives. By the way, helping to establish a family is a great Mitzvah (commandment). Therefore, the friends in a group, especially women, should help each other to create families.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/4/16

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The Problem Of Our Time

laitman_603Question: I want to marry, to love, to give my warmth and caring, but men are not ready for this kind of relationship. Why have I not succeeded in marrying?

Answer: This is the problem of our time. We have not changed the economic and familial situation that was typical of all peoples until recently: family, wife, children, home, yard, the husband went to work and brought home the salary. In all areas in life, a normal order and way of life prevailed.

With the rise of capitalism, the spread of factories, etc., women began to break away from men and men from women. New relationships appeared, the need for family disappeared. Men and women began to provide for themselves separately. Children began to be disconnected from their parents and avoided their influence. In other words, the development of capitalism destroyed the family.

Question: Could the reason for this be that people are now living much longer? In the past, they lived together for 10 to 15 years, and today they are living together for 60 years. How is it possible to endure that?

Answer: Indeed, this is also a problem.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/4/16

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Marriage To Yourself

laitman_564In the News (Deseret News): “Polonious may have been just a tad ahead of his time when in Hamlet he counseled, ‘This above all: To thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night to day, thou canst not then be false to any man.’

“According to Literarydevices.net, he was talking about ‘living a good and balanced life.’ But he might have been speaking of the latest quirk in marriage ceremonies: The marrying of oneself to … oneself.

“Sologamy, as a ‘wedding for one’ is called, is not attracting a tidal wave of people who want to do it, but it’s capturing some attention in parts of the world as diverse as Denmark, the United States and Japan. Single women, particularly, are pledging in formal ceremonies to love themselves, be good to themselves and treat themselves as a best friend. It’s not just the gals, either, though they’re a bit more apt to take the solo plunge.”

My Comment: This is said very beautifully. In fact, this emphasizes the basis of human nature—self-love. Man does not love anyone as much as he loves himself. This is absolutely honest, instinctively correct, and occurs naturally. I think only about myself, and no one blames me for that. I only take care of myself, serve only myself, so long as I feel good. This is true narcissism; I was engaged to myself to begin with.

This whole situation leads a person to the recognition of his true nature. Therefore, I am in favor of a person claiming, confirming, and admitting that he only loves himself and that he became engaged to himself the moment he was born. He doesn’t need to sign it but simply recognize the fact that he truly dedicates all his time and energy to himself. This is really our nature, and where can we escape from it?

Then suddenly he promises to live with, take care of, and think about some person all the time, to think about him. Today we see that love cannot exist. The attraction and living together for most young couples today lasts for about two to five years at the most, and then the marriage falls apart, crumbles, and they cannot take it any longer. We have reached a state where we cannot think of any type of communication other than temporary ones.

This is our way of recognizing evil. Human nature needs correction. Within us lies a second hidden part of our nature, which will not allow us to remain in our fraudulent state. Humanity cannot agree with this; it will look for a way out and find it—in correcting itself.

Therefore, any awareness of the evil of our nature is a positive process. I hope that we will discover more impulses of humanity and rise to the next level.
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 1/23/16

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Men And Women: Overcoming Desires

laitman_628_4Question: Will men and women ever be able to overcome their basic desires and treat each other above their ego?

Answer: No, this can happen only when all of humanity begins to ascend to the spiritual level, when we exit the framework of life in a body and lose the sensation that we are living in a corporeal world.

Then, we will not be called men or women but particles of the one, general soul.

Question: Does that mean that a Kabbalist cannot relate to a certain woman as a friend and that they cannot have a common ten?

Answer: Never! There can never be a common ten. This will only divert them from the path, and it is better not to start that.

We will not be able to leap above our human desires for food, sex, family, wealth, respect, and knowledge. We can only use these desires, but we must not nullify the differences. What is more, sexual desires remain until the end because they relate to the connection between all of the created beings and the Creator.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/4/16

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Men And Women: You Cannot Eliminate The Differences

Laitman_725.jpgQuestion: Where are the rules mentioned according to which a woman must stand behind a man? Today a woman works, earns money like a man, and takes care of children and the home. After all of that, she still has to follow a man with her “head bowed”?

Answer: I understand how the picture looks to you, but it is completely different. According to our current situation, a woman can work equally like a man, but the continuity of the generation is a special right that is given to her. Also housekeeping, no matter how it is viewed, rests upon her shoulders. The difference still exists and there is no need to eliminate it.

We are going through a period in the development of humanity in which we want to be revolutionaries, changing the world according to our imagination, according to our understanding and desire. Ultimately we will understand that the result is much worse and that it is better to return to the sources and act according to the nature of the world and our own nature and not to invent something else.

Why should a woman work and do everything just like a man? The rate of unemployment today has reached 30 – 40%. Wouldn’t it be better if only men were working in the world? And women would be engaged with the education of children, self-education, and preparing a fertile ground for the men. Then it could be that the family would be stronger and the world would be much warmer and better, without wars and other problems.

Let’s each deal with our own business! I do not think that the education of children and housework is somehow less than the work of a man sitting at a computer, for instance.

Giving birth, educating, moving humanity forward generation after generation is women’s work! What could be more basic and necessary?

Question: Does that mean that nobody needs 80% of the work that is done in the world?

Answer: Of course it isn’t needed! In the end, what do we get? Children are run around who knows where and how. And what will come of them isn’t clear. A woman should have a psychological and pedagogical education in order to educate children, take care of them properly, and build a family correctly.

A woman personifies the home. In Hebrew, “home” is a woman, a mother, wife, the mistress of the house. The man is an appendage to her, bringing home a salary and is engaged with obtaining physical and spiritual food. The woman carries out her spiritual work by way of the home. And this division is very important.

But now we are in such a stage, such an incarnation, where everything has turned upside down. But we will return to carrying out our functions correctly because in the present state we cannot complete the correction of the world.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/4/16

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Returning Home

laitman_627_2Question: Has nature created women stronger and more energetic in every sense because her role is to bear children?

Answer: Of course. Women will naturally have to return to home-building eventually. Billions of unemployed people will be reclassified and women will leave their jobs and engage in bringing up children and housekeeping while the men will work.

Bringing up the next generation is a great problem and only women can solve it. We have to explain that to people because if things go on the way they are now, the next generation will not survive. It will be so ugly that it will cast a doubt as to life itself. We must return to the natural situation.

Along with that, women will develop spiritually! They will have more free time; they will relax because they will have a home, a husband and children. In addition to the pedagogical and psychological upbringing that her children need and caring for her husband, a woman will be able to engage in her spiritual development several hours a day.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/4/16

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Why Does A Man Need A Woman?

Laitman_632_1Question: Why does a man need a woman for his spiritual development so much?

Answer: On the one hand, a woman helps him; on the other hand, she completes him. A man is called, “Guf’s plague” (half a body) because without the female part, he is basically a half.

The woman is not a half, but specifically he is. Therefore, he must complete his egoistic nature through a woman to the degree necessary to rise and develop spiritually.

This is not necessary for a woman because by herself she is already prepared for spiritual development.

If a man wants to attain spirituality, he must be married, but a woman doesn’t need to be married, because it does not depend on her. But at the same time, she must aspire to have a family.

Being in a family unit both for men and women is the best situation from which a Kabbalist can grow. With a woman, it is as it turns out, while for a man, he must have a family.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/4/16

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The Spiritual Root Of Feminism

laitman_627_2Question: Is there a spiritual root to feminism? Where does feminism stem from? Has it always been here or has it just emerged?

Answer: Ask women around you what they really want. Don’t they really want a sense of security about the future, a good family, children, and a husband, someone to care for? This is what they need first and foremost!

I don’t think that feminism did not exist in the past. It has always been here. In the past women like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, and others represented it. Even the Torah tells us about heroic women….

So feminism is not a new phenomenon. Today we can simply see a greater breach of the ego; it is being exposed and has become uncontrollable, impossible to restrain by the boundaries of the family, the state, or the world, but this doesn’t make anyone happier.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/4/16

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Transience Of Earthly Love

laitman_564Question: Can our earthly love be an obstacle on the path of revealing the Creator and spirituality?

Answer: It is, indeed, an obstacle, but love in our world does not last long. Any kind of love, even the most passionate earthly love, disappears in two to three years. However, one can always balance it with his work in the group.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/11/16

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Men And Women’s Perception Of The World

laitman_543_02Question: Why do men and women perceive the world so differently? What is the point of this difference?

Answer: It is merely psychological and nothing more. Both are egoists. There is no difference in their perception except perhaps in physiological and psychological terms, but this has nothing to do with spirituality.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 11/27/16

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