Question: Where does the root of the differentiation into men and women in the physical world begin according to the wisdom of Kabbalah?

Answer: In the physical world, everything is divided into plus and minus, into the attribute of the created being and the attribute of the Creator, the attribute of the desire and the attribute of the Masach (screen), into Reshimo of Aviut ( the informational genes of the desire) and Reshimo of Hitlabshut (the informational genes of the Light).

Everything is accurately made of a male and a female part because creation is divided into the Creator (the male part) and the creation that He created (the female part).
[204344]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/4/16

Related Material:
Men And Women Are The Outcome Of Spiritual Roots
Women’s Force: The Force Of Creation
Man And Woman, Unity Of Opposites

Filed under: Man and Woman - No Comments →

Question: What does it mean that part of the general soul is clothed in a female body? What is the uniqueness of the correction if it is clothed in the feminine part?

Answer: There is no concept like this! There is a constant flow of the state of the general soul from male to female, from female to male, including the men and women in our world.

A soul is something amorphous that floats between everyone, or you could say that this is what we are floating in. There is a single soul for everyone.

In spirituality, if I want to bestow to someone, to the Creator or to another person, I am called male (a man) and if I want to receive, then I am called a female (woman). Sometimes I am a male and sometimes I am a female. In our world, we are precisely divided into men and women; whereas in spirituality, everything depends only on us.
[203883]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/4/16

Related Material:
Gender Change In Spirituality
Male And Female Souls
An Eternal Soul

Filed under: Body and Soul, Man and Woman - No Comments →

Question: In history, were there cases in which the man was engaged with the wisdom of Kabbalah and his wife sat at home with the children, but by supporting him she also reached spiritual attainment?

Answer: We have examples like this. Two thousand years ago, the wife of Rabbi Akiva, who helped him in everything, reached the greatest heights of attainment.

Question: Could there be a situation today where a woman who supports her husband reaches spirituality without opening a book even once?

Answer: If a woman supports her husband in everything, devoting herself with all her desire, the husband can even be lazy, but if she pushes him forward, obligates and helps, she can attain more than he. Everything depends on the yearning of the person. Moreover, a woman’s desire is more demanding and serious.

I cannot say what is preferable in our world, being a man or a woman, everything depends on luck. If a woman has a serious and proper yearning for the goal, then it could be that her realization as a physical woman and as a spiritual man will be more successful.
[204006]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/4/16

Related Material:
A Ticket To The Upper World
The Spiritual Path Of A Man And A Woman
Women’s Task In Spiritual Correction

Filed under: Man and Woman, Women's Spirituality - No Comments →

Question: How should a woman study the wisdom of Kabbalah correctly?

Answer: Spiritual and corporeal concepts of the male and female parts differ profoundly from each other.

A soul is a person’s yearning for love and bestowal above his egoism.

Thus, we cannot say that a man in our world is the part that bestows and a woman is the part that receives. There cannot be a distinction here because, in our world, both are egoists.

But whoever acquires the attribute of bestowal and love of others is called the male part in the spiritual sense, the one who bestows, and whoever is still in the egoistic desire to enjoy, to be filled, is called the female part.

Therefore, we are all women from a spiritual perspective. Those who transcend to the spiritual world, through what we call the Machsom (barrier), will be called men. Above the Machsom, everyone is a man. There, everyone has a female part, a desire, and a male part, a Masach, an intention, because you cannot have one without the other.

If I read a Kabbalistic book, and something is written about men and women, then it must be specifically imagined that a woman and a man mean the property of receiving or the quality of bestowal—in any of the people, regardless of gender.

As for our world, the physiological attributes are different, and we have a big problem with that.

It comes down to the fact that in our world, a woman differs from a man in her corporeal egoistic attributes. And so her entrance into Kabbalah is special, not like in men.

She should achieve the same state as a man, but move to this in a different way, providing great help to men, fulfilling her role as the one who continues the generation, takes care of the family and the home. A man should be the provider.  He must study, and a woman is responsible for the home. That is her work.

I am explaining how humanity was created, and there is nothing we can do about it. We cannot swap a man and woman, or destroy gender. No matter how developed we are, the male and the female natures differ externally in our world and we must take that into account.

We have different thoughts, different worldviews, different feelings, and different needs in the family. This is the reason that we must act accordingly, and not imagine that we are living above our world in a state where there is no distinction between the genders.
[203538]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/4/16

Related Material:
Men And Women Are The Outcome Of Spiritual Roots
The Nature Of Men And Women
A Man And A Woman – Mutual Completion

Filed under: Man and Woman, Women's Spirituality - No Comments →

In the News (Legacy Project – Cornell): “I’ve spent time over the past year talking with young people about their hopes for marriage. And the question that comes up more than any other is: ‘How do I know if the person is the right one for me?’ Is there a way to tell if someone is likely to be a compatible long-term mate, or a difficult and contentious partner?

“Sounds complicated, right? But in our interviews with hundreds of long-married couples about what works and what doesn’t for a long and satisfying relationship, one simple and straightforward answer emerged again and again. It turns out that our elders believe there’s something close to a ‘magic bullet’ when it comes to deciding in a relationship: ‘Should I stay or should I go?’ And it all comes down to similarity. …

“Based on their long experiences both in and out of romantic relationships, the fundamental lesson is this: You are much more likely to have a satisfying marriage for a lifetime when you and your mate are fundamentally similar. And if you’re very different, the elders warn although that marriage can work, is likely to be much more difficult.”

Question: Does this have a spiritual root?

Answer: Of course, those who are alike are attracted to each other in every aspect of life.

Question: Does breaking this rule have any implications?

Answer: In such cases it is very difficult to adapt yourself to that person because you have to get used to him and understand him. After all, psychology, ideology, awareness, insight, and tastes require a close match, which none of us, being egoists, wants to do because it involves an enormous expenditure of energy. If people connect, they have to choose someone they can understand very well. Men usually subconsciously choose women who resemble their mothers and women choose men who resemble their fathers.

I wish you all to find the half that is right for you.

Question: Is the Creator the right half for us?

Answer: In order to become His half, we need to resemble the Creator. In this case, the same rule applies—the law of similarity, equivalence of form. We should bestow and love to the extent that He does, and by acquiring this attribute, we get closer to Him.

Question: Do I have to feel that the Creator gives and bestows?

Answer: We begin to feel Him to the extent that we acquire this attribute.

As for marriage, we can take an example from religious families. They marry men and women from their environment, who have been brought up in the same way. They don’t need to learn what their spouse likes or doesn’t like, what he/she is used to, or what kind of life they will lead.

They have seen all that at home and will continue to live this way in their family. They match each other from the start. They resemble each other and so they co-exist without any unpleasant surprises. This is what similarity means. In Orthodox families it works 100%.

Therefore, it is preferable to choose a partner according to likeness. If we could screen young people and see the resemblance and equivalence between them according to certain criteria, it would be clear whether they were suitable marriage partners or not.

All their assurances that they love each other, do not mean anything.
[201036]
From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 11/1/16

Related Material:
Man And Woman — A Magnet Between Them, Part 2
In Love, Similarities Attract
Opposites Do Not Attract

Filed under: Man and Woman, News - No Comments →

New Life 816 – Conflicts In Relationships
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz

Why are conflicts essential in a relationship? What is the right way of coping with opposing opinions in a relationship and how does it build a new level in the relationship?

We become equal when we reach a mutual agreement that the importance of the connection between us is above everything.
[201084]
From KabTV’s “New Life 816 –Conflicts In Relationships,” 1/24/17

Video: Play Now | Download

Audio: Play Now | Download

Filed under: Education, Group Work, Man and Woman, New Life, Society - No Comments →

Nature has given us, men and women, a real gift from above – our differences. Due to these differences, by connecting correctly, we can not only live happily, but can also solve the “riddle number one,” for which this world was created….

It is very symbolic that we are celebrating two holidays simultaneously, Purim and March 8^th [International Women’s Day], at the center of which stands a woman. Esther is indeed a wonderful image of a woman who discovers her nature deep within herself.

Modestly, without emphasizing herself, hiding her desires, is concerned not only about her husband, children, and home, but the entire world as well. She is the cause, the central axis, which through her desires drives the entire mechanism of creation, desires its perfection, and she herself becomes perfected.

Nature has endowed woman with the main property, the immense desire of all of creation. But to fulfill her desire, she needs a man. A real man, who as a representative of the Creator, is ready to fulfill the boundless desire of the woman.

The woman wants her man to become like the Creator, ascending to His level, becoming a provider, loving, possessing only one intention, not thinking of himself, but wanting to fulfill her desire, and in fact, the desire of the Creator. The woman supports a man in his true masculine work of overcoming his egoistic nature. The woman delicately but persistently inspires a man, pushes him toward growth and development, to accommodate her desires and the desires of the man, transforming these desires and making them harmonious, complementing each other.

Today, not always and not everyone can succeed in living according to our inherent natural characteristics. A woman controls a society, aiming her desires toward compensating for the deficiencies of men in all areas of human activity. A woman can always give a man useful advice because she has a much better intuition than he does.

However, regardless of external successes or failures, a woman deeply feels the need for true fulfillment. Her uncontrollable desire will necessarily be turned toward the source of this fulfillment and the wisdom of Kabbalah, which is the method for how to truly become happy herself, providing happiness to her man, children, relatives, and the whole world.
[203178]

Related Material:
Woman – A Mystery Of Nature
Women’s Force: The Force Of Creation
My Greetings On International Women’s Day

Filed under: Holidays, Man and Woman - No Comments →

New Life #415 – Marriage
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Tal Mandelbaum ben Moshe

Summary

A person is rewarded with a spiritual life in the connection of marriage. How does a couple who have a spiritual connection behave and what is the filling that they both receive from it?

What is marriage beyond an economic agreement?

The thought and desire are powerful forces that operate on our whole reality. So to understand what connection is, we have to add that the goal of the marriage is that our relationship should bring us spiritual elevation.

Everyone buys a partner for the future spiritual state they are about to acquire. This is a spiritual connection. Spiritual means discovering the system of forces that manage the world and discovering the Shechina (Divinity).

A couple becomes one by the efforts of each side to nullify himself with regard to the other. Then they discover that they cannot do it since they are both egoists and they need the upper force to connect them. Then the force of love and connection, the upper force, the general force of nature, is revealed between them. And it is written: “a man and a woman, if they achieved (their goal), Shechina is between them.”
From KabTV’s “New Life #415 – Marriage,” 7/3/14

Video: Play Now | Download

Audio: Play Now | Download

Filed under: Education, Man and Woman, Marriage, New Life - No Comments →

New Life #414 – The Institution Of Marriage Today
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Tal Mandelbaum ben Moshe

Summary

What happened to the institution of marriage that it is disintegrating? What attitude we should develop as a result of our commitment to marriage and can spiritual connection improve our relations?

In the past a person was committed to marriage in order to live a normal life, but today it is not the case. A couple needs to build the connection between them before the wedding, after the commitment of marriage, they stop.

The institution of marriage today requires re-examination. It can continue to exist only if we add a spiritual value to it. A spiritual married life means an internal commitment to provide each other with spiritual support.
From KabTV’s “New Life #414 – Relations: The Institution Of Marriage Today,” 7/3/14

Video: Play Now | Download

Audio: Play Now | Download

Filed under: Man and Woman, Marriage, New Life - No Comments →

Question: What advice can you give people regarding family and children? What is seriously worthwhile for them to think about?

Answer: The problem in family life amounts to only one thing, on the ability to concede to each other. My teacher the great Kabbalist Baruch Ashlag used to say: “The happiness of family life depends on the ability to keep your mouth shut at the right time.”

Question: What does family life mean nowadays when a woman and man can live separately?

Answer: Everything depends on education. In their time, I received guidance and direction from my parents that divorce could not be and that’s that.

Understandably, there can be all kinds of problems in a family, especially when people have been living together for a long time. I have been married to my wife for almost 50 years. People lived this way in the past, while today sociologists believe that when two or three years go by, affection and closeness disappear.

But they don’t have to divorce. It is possible to prevent this only through mutual concessions, not in any other way.

Question: You say that it is possible to avoid divorce, why is this?

Answer: You established a family, gave birth to children, you have to be their father. Things are much worse for children if the father is not present.

Children need both a father and a mother even if the relationship between them is not good. You should be concerned about silencing yourself and not the other. Then everything will be okay.

I am saying this from personal experience. For example, my wife and I can quarrel for some reason, but the next morning we must meet each other with a smile, even if the feeling of yesterday’s quarrel has not yet calmed down and we are burning to prove that we were right. This doesn’t enter the account!

Comment: But this is the wisdom of the wisdom of Kabbalah….

My Response: This is not the wisdom of Kabbalah but a simple understanding that you will not achieve anything in any other way! You cannot change people or the world, I am saying this seriously. Every day my wife and I begin by taking a walk for half an hour and we are always smiling at each other, even though inside each one of us has a load of problems. But during the walk it is gradually emptied; that is how it is every day. But today begins with a decision that what happened yesterday is finished, even externally.

Regarding children, everything is very simple. Don’t preach ethics to them. With words you will not succeed in educating them, you will only push them away from you. It is possible to educate them only through an example, without words. The child will look and learn. If you say something along with this, you will ruin their education.
[200475]
From a Webinar “The Year in Review” 12/26/16

Related Material:
A Bad Marriage Is Better Than A Good Divorce
Based Upon Mutual Concessions
How Can We Strengthen The Nuclear Family?

Filed under: Love, Man and Woman, Marriage - No Comments →