Our whole world, the still, vegetative, animate, and mainly the human levels are one big ego.
All the elements of nature and their unification into living organisms, whether on the levels of the still, vegetative, or the animal level, operate according to one principle only: to swallow as much of what is beneficial for them and to extract as much of what is not necessary for them, what is not right or good for them. This is the pure ego, the plan of creation, of nature, which is inside us and manages us.
Can we manage it? Actually, we cannot. In our state we are puppets on a string and we are operated on. In each of us the egoistic program by which we operate is seemingly imprinted. We think that we operate independently, but in fact it is the force of nature that manages us. It turns us from left to right and from right to left, wherever it feels like and whichever way it feels like, according to different vectors, and we execute this plan without even imagining that we are controlled by it. It is actually in this egoistic nature that we exist as elements that are totally managed by it.
When the question of “what am I living for” emerges in a person, it is seemingly an error in the program of nature, some malfunction. How can it be that a person who is absolutely managed suddenly asks: “What am I? What am I living for and how?”
But it is nature itself that awakens us and summons this question in us, and which gives us some kind of freewill so that we will begin to ask ourselves about our fate.
It is not a simple matter. Such questions emerge in very few people, but in the process of our egoistic development more and more people ask this question.
Basically, this is the only question that nature awakens in us so that we will be interested in the plan of our actions and of our development, of our life: “What for? Why? What are we doing?
Do we do everything instinctively or can we somehow change our actions or at least assess them in a critical manner as to where such thoughts stem from?”
From that moment onward a person becomes a human being. Later he advances toward understanding that he is managed, that he doesn’t want that, and that the guidance that nature has designated for him is bad and harmful and that he needs to do something about it. Generally speaking, a person’s spiritual development actually begins from the question: “What is the meaning of my life? What am I living for?”
It seems like a depressing question, but it is in fact crucial, since it is actually from this state that a person begins to explore: “What manages me? For what purpose? Do I agree with it or not? I want to understand the source of my control. I don’t agree with it and I want to act differently, to live differently. I want to ascend above the source of my control, above that force. I don’t agree with being enslaved to it.”
When a person begins to explore himself, he reaches the right books. Generally speaking, it is the wisdom of Kabbalah. Sometimes he may find psychology books first, but if he continues to dig he certainly arrives at the wisdom of Kabbalah.
Then it becomes clear to him that he is controlled by a higher force, nature or the Creator, which is actually the same thing. He wants to find out where the Creator is leading him, what he lives for, and how this force manages him.
A person begins to understand that he is managed seemingly by two forces, the positive force and the negative force, while he is actually neutral. Even his typical egoism, the desire to enjoy, is not his, but guidance from above.
This means that he is a totally neutral body, which is influenced by an egoistic force, on the one hand, which forces him to act in a certain way, and on the other hand, there can also be an altruistic force that is constantly in contrast to it.
In general, a person begins to explore himself.
The negative egoistic force that exists in every object in nature, including man, the force that absorbs, sucks everything into itself, consumes, and receives, we call the female force. While the positive force that bestows, gives, and fills is called the male force, the Creator. So it turns out that nature divides us into two parts.
But this has nothing to do with men and women in our world. Here we are totally identical in the egoistic sense. In fact, only the negative force operates in us and the positive force is necessary only in order to develop the negative force in us even more.
Question: Is the question about the meaning of life which we arrive at, the female question in us?
Answer: No. when the emptiness a person feels reaches a certain point and he understands that his whole life is totally useless, that it has no value and is merely different mechanical actions on his part, he already begins to ask: “Why and what for?” Although this action stems from the negative force, it already belongs to the positive force.
A particle of the Creator begins to speak in a person, a particle of the attribute of bestowal, and in it there is already the resistance between the two forces.
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah” 3/3/19