Answer: He tries to connect with others and is slightly successful every time through some new test, but the fruits of this connection go to Pharaoh who sucks them out of the back of the neck. This means that the ego steals everything and keeps it inside for itself. A person feels that he has nothing. This is what happens with us.
And then, as it is said, (Job 20:15): “He swallowed up riches and vomited it out.” The power of the ego swallows the fruits of the labor and then spits in out vomits giving everything back to the person all at once.
Question: When will this finally happen?
Answer: When a sufficient amount of efforts that have been swallowed by the ego accumulate, it makes it possible for a person to rise to for the sake of bestowal. It is impossible to stockpile negative exertion, negative impressions, in any other way. You cannot work if they are all in front of you.
Even when a little is shown to you, you take account of what you have, this is bad and that is bad, and you flee immediately. And so you won’t run away but will continue to work, your disappointments disappear. This gives us the opportunity to continue by coming again and again to disappointment about our abilities.
As a result, the accumulated disappointment and consequently the need for the group must be so great that you cry out and want to leave. This doesn’t mean fleeing the work, but fleeing from your ego, from yourself!
There are several conditions that must ripen and accumulate. This is a cumulative process; nothing can be done about it. In order to help you with it, there is darkness and the absorption of your failures. And then you need to be inspired by the group, the study, and the teacher, and every day you need to get back up on your feet again.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/14/14, Writing of Rabash