Question: The cause of clashes and conflicts between married couples is a collision between their egoistic characteristics. How necessary is it that they learn the mechanism of these characteristics in order to understand the reason why they have conflict and to have the ability to rise above them?
Answer: People need to know the mechanism of the interaction of egoistic characteristics, to study it and to control it. Since people are not just performers, they need to create the next state within themselves. Therefore the integral learning is serious study that includes not only education but also training. We tell them about the evolution of the family: Why there is a need for it, why it is dividing into two entities, into two opposing forces, why these objects connect together and how, despite their mutual ego, and so on.
Here we are working on a universal problem in the case of two young people: a boy and a girl. What pushes them towards each other? It’s hormones. But if you approach this sensibly, then certainly a great problem of cosmogony is solved here, an ascent to the next level of all of humanity, by way of a regular familial couple. And this depends only upon their awareness of what can consolidate them together.
They can come to us specifically because at this moment nature prepares all kinds of conflicts in them and we need to give a new meaning to their existence, a new level of meaning. Therefore look at this very seriously, for ultimately they will become the creators of the next level within them. As is said, “A man and a woman, the Shechina between them,” i.e., the next level of nature.
And in continuation, they will be rising all the time. If we establish a standard for them and support them, then the concept of the family will acquire a completely different meaning. When a public opinion is created in society that will unite them in a manner like this, will obligate and support them somewhat, then completely different relationships will appear between people.
What is it that holds them together? First it’s the hormones and after that for a time it’s mutual obligations. Whereas in the integral society that makes it possible for them to attain a higher goal, they will no longer be able to separate. They will begin to look at each other completely differently. Everything will be on an absolutely different level with them: both the shared home, sex, and conversations, everything, because they will begin to get completely different fulfillment.
I would explain all this to them not from the point of view of regular psychology, but from the point of view of egoistic psychology that very simply brings and contracts everything down to one source, the ego, which must be overcome without destroying it, but rather, using it for the needs of elevation to the next level. Regular psychology gives a person a “tranquilizer,” whereas integral education and information give the possibility of using that ego in order to rise above it without annihilating it. In this manner the person can grow spiritually. And when he rises spiritually, he creates a new society, a new community, and a new land.
From Kab TV’s “Through Time” 9/21/13