Question: I cannot manage to locate the starting point that doesn’t serve my ego that will enable me to rise above it. Everything that is in me, even this question, is a result of my pride, so what can I do?
Question: But I can’t cry.
Answer: So, you should cry out. Of course, you have no powers and you even feel that you are a bit corrupt, so, you are not really alarmed by it since it doesn’t look so bad. It means that you still are lacking many discernments by which you can be drawn to the goal, by which you are repulsed by the current state and exit it.
So, cry and cry out and ask to do everything that is in your power. If you cannot even do that, then you still have the environment to which you can turn to. Turn to the friends.
If you have no power to do even that, then at least be somewhat incorporated in them. A person must take certain actions and he is given a chance to do so.
Question: The envy I feel toward the friends really works but it doesn’t bring me to the desired point yet. Therefore, no matter how hard I cry out, my cries will only be egoistic.
Answer: It doesn’t matter; they still help. The Surrounding Light responds to egoistic cries. Therefore, it is the Surrounding Light and not the Direct Light and not the Inner Light, and so you operate it even by egoistic cries. So, cry out. Call out and it will awaken in response to that.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/02/13, Writings of Baal HaSulam