Answer: You have no choice. We operate as slaves to our desire.
I may either have a desire to enter this system, which beckons me secretly and stirs up questions in me: “What am I living for? Why? What’s the point in my life?” Or I may ask: “What’s the point in my life?” because I don’t have enough to make ends meet. Or I may be green with envy because the neighbor’s grass is always greener.
The kind of suffering makes no difference, and whatever it is, it helps us advance. This is how we are made. If we didn’t feel these deficiencies, we wouldn’t move at all. Our free will is not to choose the desires themselves, but rather how to use them. And when we are under the rule of two forces, the force of reception and the force of bestowal, we can choose how to use them. But I don’t choose the desire itself.
Before a certain desire begins to operate in us, we are like dull robots that can’t move. Without a desire I am like a lifeless doll without a battery.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/4/2011, Shamati #42