Love is the aspiration to fulfill the desires of another person, but in order to do that I first need to understand his or her desires. If we have similar habits, thoughts, and perceptions of reality, then I understand and know how to fulfill the other’s desires. In other words, I can express my love.
It doesn’t matter whether my love is physical or spiritual. The key is that I fulfill another person’s desire. But what should I do if I don’t understand his or her desire? It then becomes necessary to have desires that are somewhat similar to those of our loved ones.
In Kabbalah this is called “similarity of form.” No doubt each of us has different desires, but in order for me to understand you, the form of your desire should be similar to that of mine. This will enable me to create an inner model that is similar to your desire and from this model to know how and what I can give to you. In imaging your desire within myself, I understand how I would feel in receiving the same fulfillment. Since I know that you want the same thing, I am able to satisfy your desire.