What Is Love?

clip_image001Love is the aspiration to fulfill the desires of another person, but in order to do that I first need to understand his or her desires. If we have similar habits, thoughts, and perceptions of reality, then I understand and know how to fulfill the other’s desires. In other words, I can express my love.

It doesn’t matter whether my love is physical or spiritual. The key is that I fulfill another person’s desire. But what should I do if I don’t understand his or her desire? It then becomes necessary to have desires that are somewhat similar to those of our loved ones.

In Kabbalah this is called “similarity of form.” No doubt each of us has different desires, but in order for me to understand you, the form of your desire should be similar to that of mine. This will enable me to create an inner model that is similar to your desire and from this model to know how and what I can give to you. In imaging your desire within myself, I understand how I would feel in receiving the same fulfillment. Since I know that you want the same thing, I am able to satisfy your desire.


  1. This came at a perfect time in my life. This is something that I will keep in me always.

  2. Dear Rav,

    How does this apply to finding one’s life partner? As you said a man who study Kabbalah needs to be married so that he can advance in his studies. Does he have to find a partner that have similar desires and if he couldn’t find one?

  3. Dear Rav,

    Is this aspiration to fulfill the desire of another the true meaning of marriage- and they became one-unification of that desire?

    Thank you for reminding us who we truly are.
    Sarah Yefet

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