The Zohar, Chapter “Shmini (On The Eighth Day)”, Item 46: “And he said unto Aaron: ‘Take thee a bull-calf,’” to atone for the calf he had sinned in, as it is written, “…and he made it into a molten calf.”
One of the qualities inside a person called Moses climbs a hill, while another, very exalted quality called Aaron commits the greatest sin: worshipping a golden calf. That is how these two extreme points work within a person.
A bull-calf and not a bull-cow. Cattle implies an ox, Gevura de Zeir Anpin, and a cow implies Malchut. Malchut contains three faces: the face of a lion, the face of an ox, and the face of an eagle. A bull-calf implies the ox included in Malchut.
We don’t have to try to remember the words of this text – it doesn’t matter if everything escapes our memory in the next few seconds. We shouldn’t worry about that. Our only concern should be trying to feel the words we read as we read them, and that’s all.
We shouldn’t try to remember anything. When we listen to a regular story about this world, we don’t have to remember what “a cow” or “a calf” or a “man” mean. We simply feel these notions. The same applies to spiritual notions – we only need all of them to be revealed in us, rather than memorizing them mechanically.
On the contrary, if we remember something, we fall into the danger of assuming that we have already attained something, but this is a lie. We will feel satisfied with the wrong things.
Therefore, it is better not to remember anything at all and to let “every day begin anew.” We should leave the lesson without remembering anything, as if we hadn’t read anything at all. The important thing is that we applied ourselves and waited for a revelation.