Question: According to the Jewish tradition, the 15th of Av is a holiday of love. People are searching for love their entire lives, and some would say that it is the most claimed good. It is not easy to find, and yet people do not give up and continue searching.
Even if we fail once, we keep hoping to start anew and find a new love. They say that love is a miracle. What makes love so appealing that we are willing to go to such great lengths to have it in our lives?
Answer: People search for love and cannot find it because it is impossible in our world. After all, love is a result of the unification of our desire, the basis, the fundamental material, and its fulfillment. In the science of Kabbalah, the desire is called a vessel and the Light is called fulfillment. The creature is the desire and the Creator is the fulfillment.
We need to attain this state fully in order for our desire to fill with the Upper Light and rise to the level of the upper force after growing quantitatively and most importantly qualitatively. This is why we constantly chase after love.
We need to look at the spiritual root, without which we cannot comprehend what happens. There is an important phenomenon in our lives, and it enthralls everyone. No one can free themselves from love. At the same time, no one knows anything about it.
There are numerous novels and books written, tons of movies made; all of humanity is spinning around love only, and no one knows what it is. All that is because love comes from an upper source, the Creator, who created the lower force, or the creature, so that this creature will wish to come closer to its Maker, and they will love each other.
It would seem that nothing can be better than that! It is a very touching story. It turns out that the upper force created all of us so that we would come close to it, embrace, and unite in love. But the fact of the matter is that we don’t understand what kind of love that is because love should be real.
Everyone dreams of real love, especially women. Women feel a need for love more, but they too don’t know what it is.
Real love means that I love someone else and not myself! I fulfill a partner and not that I become fulfilled because of him or her. That means that it has nothing to do with sex but rather wanting to feel all the desires of another person and getting pleasure from fulfilling those desires. That is love.
Such love doesn’t have to be between a man and a woman. The one who fulfills another is called a man and the one who receives the fulfillment is called a woman. It could be opposite to our physiological qualities since it is determined by a spiritual principle that is higher than our physical bodies.
In order to have real love we need to rise above our egoism in order to truly love our neighbor. In other words, I no longer love another person because it is pleasant, sweet, and brings satisfaction.
I don’t look at a pretty face, legs, or hair, and not even the personality matters. In other words, I don’t pay attention to the external or the inner qualities of a woman. I just look for ways to fulfill her, rising above any personal attitude toward her, which is egoistic.
In this case, a man also can be an object of love for me, and that is why in Kabbalah we talk about love for the friends. We agree to build relationships of love between us, and of course we are not talking about any intimate connections.
Love is when each person is ready to reveal his desire so that a friend can fulfill it, and the friend, in turn, reveals his desire to me so that I fulfill it. In this manner, we unite in mutual love. Mutual or two-sided love is called adhesion.
I penetrate within the inner desires of my friend, fulfill him, and he penetrates within my inner desires and fulfills me. There is no difference here between men and women of our world. In this manner, everyone begins to unite. This love is completely separate from our animal bodies and genders.
In this love, there cannot be one who loves and another who is loved. Each of us both receives and gives love.
From KabTV’s “A New Life” 7/30/15