Question: For spirituality, the men are responsible for connection and I can simply work with dissemination without wasting time on corresponding with the groups of ten. I have not succeeded in finding a reason why women need to be connected between them apart from the men. And in addition to that, it’s very difficult to find the time for it.

Answer: This is right, but from where will a woman find words and power to convince others if she doesn’t participate in connection? The vast majority of women listen to all our classes, the program “A New Life,” participate in workshops, and read the blog regularly. I cannot imagine what would happen if a woman didn’t participate in all of these things.

If there wouldn’t be all of this, how would she go out to the public, how would she tell people what to do, and with what would she go out to them? All this needs to live in her and she needs to enter into all of it. After all, when women act, they truly do it from the heart.

Besides this, they have greater ability to convince others than men do. If the woman goes out to disseminate together with a man, then she does the main part of the work of disclosing and the explaining to the masses. Before women all the doors are opened, they are accepted better because they are softer. All this must be taken into account. After all, this is based on the works of nature.
[116779]
From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/25/13, Question and Answers with Dr. Laitman

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Question: How can women help one another to pass through the states to become one? How can we work as a single Kli (vessel)?

Answer: I cannot put myself in the place of the woman. Sometimes I try to be clothed in her, but even from a state of spiritual perception it is impossible to feel the woman: her inner world, her comprehension, her philosophy of life. This is something completely opposite to a man.

Therefore when women ask questions like these, I don’t know what to answer. What can we do to become one? I can repeat those words with which you are familiar no less than I am. There are no other words or actions. The unity of women, this is a big problem.

For men it is easier to get rid of linking the spiritual work to their physical representation and to be left only with emotion. For a woman it is much more difficult to be released from the link with her external appearance and to be left only with emotion. After all, she embodies the desire that is linked to the source of fulfillment. And therefore she cannot get rid of her external appearance, and not from how she is seen, comprehended and felt by others.

To a man it doesn’t matter. For him all this is not important. He has another, freer relationship with himself and the world. The relationship of the woman is more dependent.

Therefore I don’t know what to advise. You simply need each one within herself and between you, to be more honest, more objective; each one directed not to herself but to everyone. You need to learn from each other how to go outside of yourselves, for this happens differently for you than for the men and in a much more complex manner.

It is very difficult to contend with this obstacle, but this is the work of the woman. With women this happens laterally, with men, vertically. That is how we grow. A woman is like a Kli, and a man is like the source, the conductor, the channel for her fulfillment. That is how this works together.

It is said that the Kli of the woman is wide and short (wide from the presence of Ohr Hassadim, and short from a lack of Ohr Hochma), while the male Kli is long and narrow (long from the presence of Ohr Hochma, and narrow from a lack of Ohr Hassadim). And this is not just in physiological form, but also according to the inner comprehension, according to the correction. Therefore it is necessary to work.

I repeat and say: It is necessary to be honest, not to be afraid of learning from one another how to do this. In no way to play one against the other, after all, you feel how each one plays, does something by herself. Be released from everything external. Don’t look at the outside—this is your task.
[114537]
From the St. Petersburg Convention “Day Three” 7/14/13, Lesson 5

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Question: After the completion of all the courses, new students are often thrown into some kind of vacuum. This affects women especially because the men have a young group, whereas women don’t. Would it be worthwhile to create a separate young group for them and create a course of intensive study with a teacher on the articles of Rabash?

Answer: I suppose that women need to organize a group that is involved with the absorption of new students. This group doesn’t need to be mixed.

When a new student feels herself in a warm circle of women, this will be a pleasant surprise for her that doesn’t exist anywhere else in the world. You know this for yourselves. In general, women don’t really greet new students cordially, to put it mildly. If you show a new student that among you there is an absolutely different form of mutual relationship, this will be better for her than any absorption! She will be faithful to you. She will feel that she can’t find anything else like this anywhere. Here societies appear, a place appears in which they accept her, wait for her, a place in which they don’t laugh at her, in which she can speak freely from the heart. So this is very important.

If you show her that she truly can be pleasant and open with you, you will find in return that it will be very easy to absorb her.

You don’t even need a center for this. Gather with someone once a week at home in an informal atmosphere: coffee, tea, sweets, and invite all the new students. They will not find anything like this anywhere!
[114169]
From the St. Petersburg Convention “Day Two” 7/13/13, Lesson 4

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Question: What are your plans for the future regarding virtual groups? Do you see their prospects for advancing in the future on the level of the physical groups?

Answer: Unity is beyond borders: virtual and, in the meantime, physical borders.

Question: How can women unite better? With friends with similar properties or vice versa?

Answer: It makes no difference because we rise above our characteristics.

Question: How is it necessary to behave with those who are listed as friends in a group but don’t take part in the life of the group at all?

Answer: Wait patiently until they change.

Question: Is it possible and in what way, to be in two groups  simultaneously, physical and virtual?

Answer: You can be in multiple groups because they merge.

Question: Is it difficult for you to be a Rav?

Answer: I am not a Rav, rather a teacher, a guide, a coach.
[112911]

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Question: How can women feel the collective descent and unity? I don’t feel any descents; I come to the group with great happiness and devote myself to it. So where is my spiritual development?

Answer: There is something unique among women in comparison to men. It is not required of them to overcome their natural barrier between them. But in the spiritual work, they must be like the men.

Nobody requires them to, nobody demands of them the same method of connection as it is with the men. But inwardly, they are ready for this and must work on it especially between them.

And afterwards, both a particular detachment, ascent is created, and the sensation that you are a woman and this is a man disappears, when this outer envelope disappears, and becomes unimportant, then on one hand, what will remain is the physical world, and on the other hand, the spiritual world; both of them will be precisely differentiated: this being our beastly nature and that the soul, then they will be able to work like the men.

But until that moment there is a difference between men and women and therefore, we need to rise and desire spiritual attainment separately. Certainly we need to help each other in everything, but if we begin to work together, then we only become confused. We confuse images from the physical world and spiritual work and the outcome is very bad.

Therefore, in no way must we intersect in a serious way. Mutual help, supporting the center, dissemination, everything else is done together, except for spiritual work. Sometimes even the workshops can be jointly arranged. But in general, connection needs to be differentiated according to gender.

You understand and feel this yourselves that you can easily become confused. Moreover the women get more confused than the men. A man understands what he needs whereas a woman confuses spirituality with materialism, for her it is as if it is the same thing. And this is not at all so. She is simply lying to herself without understanding and feeling this.

When you pass through the Machsom and really begin to feel the upper world, you will then understand how much this would have been a mistake. But until then, no. And therefore with us everything is strictly divided into masculine and feminine parts.

Don’t interfere with the men, this is the first condition. Second, learn among yourselves. Nobody calls upon you to hug. Do everything that is beneficial for your connection.
[112631]
From the St. Petersburg Convention “Day One” 7/12/13, Lesson 2

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Question: The architecture of St Petersburg struck me. Every building is a masterpiece, and all of them are built to delight a woman. If a woman’s desire is so strong and can force people to build palaces, how can we make it work in a spiritual direction?

Answer: Leveling, the equalization of women and men is taking place today. We see this in sexual relationships, at work, in our daily lives—everywhere. I think that naturally the same thing happens in our spiritual movement.

It seems to me that those properties that women have acquired, say in the last 50 years (although it started a long time ago), bring them closer to men, and in turn, men invisibly “drift” toward women. That is, their natures are moving closer to each other, becoming less opposite.

Women work, are involved in politics, participate in everything on the same level with men, and in many cases show themselves as more able, more gifted. We know how women work for us, how much they long for bestowal, for spiritual attainment. A women’s desire for spiritual attainment is much higher than a man’s.

So, I think that we do not need to focus on the women’s issue as such, it does not exist. In most cases I hear some subconscious sensation behind the women’s questions—that allegedly they deserve more.

You do not deserve more. I am serious. You deserve as much as the men. You do not need to complain that “we are so weak, thrown somewhere at the back.”

The woman is a human being; the woman is part of the group, part of our society, the same as in the modern world in general. So, there is no women’s issue. Work as the men do, and you will get the same thing. We cannot manage without each other. We work together!

Your task is to build between yourselves and together with the men one whole: the men’s group or part of the women’s group. We are above our nature in the intention to unite with each other because we all have the same root; it is one force for everyone. I think that everyone is equal in our world group.
[112146]
From the Convention in St.Petersburg 7/11/13,“Preparatory Lesson”

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Question: Our virtual women’s group of ten gathers after every lecture. We share our impressions, read Shamati together and there is a feeling that we recharge one another. Is there anything spiritual in that or are women exempt from doing that?

Answer: First of all women need everything that men need. Second, a person is where his thoughts are, so you are doing a great job. Connect and think that it’s very important.

If you are not connected you will not be able to impress the men. Each woman is powerless by herself. Only if you are connected, at least in a group of ten, will you be able to impress the men. They will begin to subconsciously feel that you are pressuring them, that you demand of them just like a woman demands of her husband.

This is how we are made! And it’s very important! So encouraging and demanding at the same time is a woman’s work along two lines. We have to use that. Men who don’t perceive that will deprive themselves of the strongest means to advance! They mustn’t refuse that. Otherwise they will have no incentive.

It’s the female nature that can obligate a man to act. Even psychologists and historians speak about the fact that a man can do anything for a woman. Such mutual cooperation is part of our nature.

So you have to act together and to impress the men’s group together and actually demand that they pay attention to you and take your yearning seriously. It is serious work. I see that wherever there is a strong women’s group, the men are also successful.
[111274]
From the Convention in Krasnoyarsk 6/13/13, Lesson 3

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Question: At present I am found in a virtual group of ten that includes women from different regions with great time differences. What should we do?

Answer: A woman is exempt from all time-bound occupations! She can learn quietly and independently without any connection to other women. And when she has spare time she can be in connection with us through our Sviva Tova website, through a chat, Skype, and so forth.

Question: I heard that everyone needs to be with an inner mutual responsibility including the women for six minutes per hour, everyone is responsible for this time. Does that make sense?

Answer: I don’t know what to say; I didn’t say something like this. It’s forbidden for both women and men to do this. This is because you will be tense all the time and ultimately neglect everything. This process needs to be much more smooth and acceptable to our lives. Imagine an engineer who would stop the train for six minutes to be involved with spiritual work. This is hyperbole.

Each one of you needs to do it at a time that is convenient for her. It’s clear that it would be good to work according to the clock, but understand that you will be tense all the time. It’s a waste of nerves. And for what? Eventually this will lead to a nervous exhaustion, and instead of getting a good impression from spiritual work you will feel the burden of its obligation and be anxious all the time. It’s forbidden to do this!

Question: I heard that women, like men, must read articles by Rabash in their group of ten after the lesson or at another time.

Answer: Gather once per week when everyone is free without disturbing anything (the family and so forth) and read something. At home prepare some coffee, sit relaxed by the computer, and read an article together with everyone. This is pleasurable and this is good.

Question: Is it worthwhile to connect to groups of ten according to the same time zones?

Answer: If you connect with each other only on weekends and this is easy for you, then you can even take ten time zones, and if you cannot, then there is no need. Spiritual work needs to be relaxed! It needs to be as easy and systematic as possible!

The only thing that is not easy is the departure from the ego. We do everything else without effort. It’s possible to be in connection with everyone and to be lying relaxed on the couch because we are engaged in spiritual work. Therefore there is no reason for people of different regions with different times to be connected at the expense of their hours of work and sleep. A connection like this cannot last for long, for at the end of the matter the person will break. This has no connection to the work in the groups of tens.

It’s enough for  groups of tens to meet three times per week for 15 minutes. With us at Bnei Baruch in Petak Tikva, the  groups of tens meet for ten minutes after every morning lesson and this is all. If in your region there is the possibility of meeting for ten minutes in the evening and clarify something, even if this is through a virtual connection, this is good and is enough. This is the life of the  groups of tens.

Question: But we don’t meet physically, rather we communicate every evening, read an article and observe the time of six minutes. Everyone is sitting at work or just concentrates on thinking about the  groups of ten and this doesn’t disturb his work. Is it worthwhile to stop these exercises and to do what you said now?

Answer: I cannot advise a person to think about something foreign during work hours. I don’t know what his or her work involves. Perhaps it is complicated, dangerous, and illegal. You are taking everything that I say in a fanatical, irrational form.

There is no provision that a person must suffer from the spiritual work in which he is engaged. It is forbidden! The goal of creation is to enjoy, to benefit, only to bestow.
[110805]
From the Conventions in Krasnoyarsk 6/16/13, Lesson 6

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Question: Do you recommend women organizing a special preparation before the convention in St. Petersburg?

Answer: Of course, the women still support the men externally; this work must continue. At the same time, I recommend women organizing a qualitatively new preparation in their environment.

First of all, before the convention, they can prepare together with the men, or without them at their discretion. The essence of preparation does not change because of this, the intention is still the same.

In his time, when Rabash wrote articles about the group, I gave them to the women’s group. Thus, the women discussed and seriously worked through the same material.

Further with regard to Israel, during the convention, the men’s group will gather in our new home and the women will meet at the local centers. So they need to think about how to—all together as a group, as a whole, no matter how many are at a particular center—reveal between themselves the spiritual integration with other groups and with  the convention in St. Petersburg.

There is no need to think of a women’s “circle” around the men, you act entirely on your own. So, it will be more correct, healthier, and more practical.
[110849]
From the Talk About the Preparation for the Convention in St. Petersburg 6/26/13

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Question: I want to understand what the secret of the Kazakhstan Group is. They always radiate joy and they always impress me. I spoke to one of the women from that group and she told me: “I have a strong husband!” In other words she has no doubt that he will not do anything wrong or may get off track, it simply amazes me! Could it be that the women are the secret?

Answer: Unfortunately, I don’t know these women, but apparently they are right. When a woman speaks about her husband that way it gives him great support! The main thing for men, even for the toughest macho man, is a woman’s support. He needs it very much. When a woman speaks this way about her husband, he cannot allow himself to be weak. He will do everything in his power to justify her opinion so as not to seem lesser in her eyes.

A clever woman knows that, uses that, and benefits from that. A woman can help her husband that way much more than the whole group since she is part of her husband. If she supports him, his success is guaranteed.

So women, take into account that this special mission is in your hands. The female part and the male part are internally connected to one another by natural ties that we don’t know about. They are transferred by inner reflection from us to you and vice versa.

Your influence on us is great and you can determine the men’s success. I really count on you. Don’t let us down!
[110662]
From the Convention In Krasnoyarsk 6/16/13, Lesson 5

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