Entries in the 'Children' Category

Intellectual Games

963.6Intellectual role-playing games have become an alternative to traditional festive gatherings. Clerks, managers, doctors, and teachers enthusiastically prevent explosions at nuclear power plants, catch maniacs, and chase after secret submarine blueprints. In short, they fully immerse themselves in quests.

As children, we read books and watched movies about heroes, and dreamed of becoming like them. But later we realized that life leaves little room for cinematic heroism or even simple adventure. So why not play out the impossible?

But there is another side to this: a true hero should be an example to follow, should they not? And not just an example of parachuting from planes with umbrellas or performing stunts. No, a hero should be relatable to us. Moreover, beyond fighting enemies, societal problems, or disasters, they should overcome something within themselves—for the sake of helping others.

Such a hero inspires admiration, the kind that comes with goodwill, because they bring good into the world. More than that, they represent what we wish every person could be.

We all need a meaningful image of a hero who knows how to give themselves to others despite the challenges. And let everyone imagine themselves in their place; let everyone aspire to be like them. Then, when I step out of the theater or leave a role-playing game and return to real life, I will act the same way.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 3/29/18

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How Can Broken Relationships Be Fixed?

284.01Comment: Broken relationships ruin people’s entire lives, and they can be confusing due to micro-misunderstandings. What is the right thing to do to prevent resentment and broken relationships, and conversely, to improve them?

Psychologists recommend trying to understand your counterpart’s point of view because the result of an action is not always intentional and that there is difficulty with some micro-manifestations because we all apply different standards to their assessment.

My Response: Where are the standards here? It is my standard: how I see others and try to measure myself in correspondence with them or how I see myself and try to measure others in correspondence with myself. This is completely wrong. It is like putting on a dress. If I put it on, my belly will stick out, my arms and legs will look thin, and the dress will seem ugly to me.

There are no general standards here. There can only be one standard: for the good of one’s neighbor. That is all. I do not perceive anyone in any way, neither myself nor anyone else. I am interested in only one thing: whether the phenomena that occur are for the good of man.

By “man,” I mean all of humanity, the general image of man. I do not in any way try to measure myself in correspondence with one person or another, then I will definitely get lost.

Question: How can we correctly understand the point of view of another person and determine whether it is correct or not?

Answer: I cannot understand another person. How can I understand him? How can I get out of myself in order to understand another person?

We simply must act in a way that is good for another person—for everyone! That is, in addition to what is necessary for my existence, in everything else that depends on me, I must act for the good of others.

This is natural. Very often due to our habits, we make some movements, gestures, or say some words or expressions that others may even find offensive.

We may not even feel or understand this. We must tune our hearts. The heart must be tuned to kindness to another person! Nothing else will work.

If a person is warmly tuned to another, it will still be perceived correctly. Even if he says something wrong and fails to express himself somehow, the other person will feel him.

Direct your heart to another person, to all people, to good! You need to get used to this. You need to educate yourself to do this. It is necessary to maintain the same attitude toward the environment, toward the surrounding society, and then everything will be fine!
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 10/28/19

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Why Is There no Tenderness in the World?

627.1Question: The Riga-based writer Mikhail Dymov asked students from Riga schools, aged 6 to 10 to write to the Almighty and ask Him pressing questions and to ask for the most important things. And so the children asked the Creator.

If you don’t mind, I ask you to imagine yourself in the place of the Creator—what would you answer the children?

Lena, a first-grader—a first-grader—asks: “Why is the world without tenderness?”

Answer: Yes, this is how our world is. There is no tenderness in the world because people do not love each other.

Question: Then why was it created?

Answer: To bring the world as close to this as possible. That is something we must achieve on our own—independently and thoughtfully.

Question: What does it mean for life, for our world, if a first-grade girl is asking such a question? Please explain.

Answer: It means the world is already becoming serious and ready for corrective action.

Question: Even if such questions reach the youngest children?

Answer: Of course, yes.

Question: So do you believe that children feel more deeply than adults? Perhaps she sees this in how her parents interact or in interactions around her?

Answer: She sees it exactly as she sees it.

Question: And we fail to see it?

Answer: We do not see it.

Question: What is happening to us? Over the years does something gradually dim our vision?

Answer: We get used to and resign ourselves to what exists, and we do not want to see the bad because it feels unfixable. And so we live like that.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 11/4/24

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Add Love

572.02Question: How much love can I receive in order to pass it on to my group?

Answer: If it is true love, then there is no limit to receiving love and no limit to giving it. The whole problem is in receiving love that does not turn out to be limitless. Baal HaSulam writes that boundless love turns into hatred in us. We cannot answer it because we cannot limit it in our Kli.

Therefore, if parents endlessly love their child, then they disfigure him. After all, he does not have the opportunity to feel where the boundaries are. As a result, he begins to hate his parents. It comes from nature. He gets the desire to pierce them, to do something in spite of them, because they do not set boundaries for him with their love.

It is a well-known principle that we receive everything in our Kli in a limited form. Thus, when we give something to another, we must explain these boundaries, convey them along with our love: “I love you from here to here and no more.”

By nature, we are very limited and do not perceive infinity, which we will be able to feel only with complete correction. Therefore, if you give infinite pleasure to a small Kli, it turns into hatred. In no case should you do that.

But you can always add love to our work. Do not be afraid, you are still far from making it endless.
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From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/28/19, “Questions and Answers”

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Seven Pieces of Advice to Ease Life

600.01Comment: I read seven tips that someone gave for a person to have an easier life.
“The ability to wait is the best thing one can master.”

My Response: If it is not about spiritual work, then yes; however, if it is about spiritual work, then no. When it comes to spiritual work, one has to constantly move forward.

Comment: “The first step is only the beginning.” It means that once you make the first step you are already halfway to victory.

My Response: The first step is not half the way to the victory, but it is still an entrance. Whether it is the beginning of the victory will become clear from the rest of the steps.

Comment: “If it is difficult, means you are advancing.”

My Response: I do not think that difficulty is a sign that we are moving forward correctly. No.

The evidence that we are moving forward is our ability to summarize all problems, information, and opposites into one whole. They all complement each other and add up in an absolute precise way into one single perfect picture in our root that we are moving toward.

Comment: “Break the chains that constrict your thoughts and you will break the chains that constrict your body.” At times we are standing still because of the thoughts that prevent us from moving forward. We have to remove the negative thoughts that slow us down and instill fear in us.

My Response: We move through both negative and the positive thoughts together. Both of them are necessary. It is like a wheel where some part is moving forward and some part is moving backward relative to the center of the wheel.

Comment: “Calmness is a condition for success.” When we are calm we are capable of doing much more than when we are possessed by emotions.

My Response: No. All of Kabbalah is based on opposites, on the combination of opposites. We have to be calm in complete endless movement. There is no other way. We cannot be calm and rely on the will of a flow of life that we will end up wherever it carries us.

These are Eastern methodologies. They do not include the left line and therefore I cannot equate them with Kabbalah or give any comment.

Comment: “Judgment is darkness for a person.” We should never insult and lower the individuality of a person in any way. The only thing we can do is to condemn him for his actions, but not the person himself.

My Response: We should not condemn anyone. Absolutely no one! We have to correct ourselves. When you correct yourself, you correct the world in a way that there will be no one who would condemn you.

Comment: “Belief in one’s rightness is a limitation.”

My Response: Belief in one’s rightness has a place only when it is based on the absolute upper knowledge, not by you, but by the masses. When you are moving together with the masses and reveal the Creator in connection between you, then you find the true rightness. An individual person cannot have any correctness.

In order to have some overall orientation in life, it is necessary to have nine more friends together with you. In this way, in a ten, like in a laboratory, you will be able to create a mini-system, a mini- society, where you can clearly project the entire nature, entire humanity, and all the worlds between yourselves.

You would create such a magic balloon from your ten desires and intentions and would see all universes, all worlds, all their inhabitants, and the Creator in it like in the mini-image, in the mini-model. Then by working on this model you would clearly understand who you are and where you are going.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 6/25/19

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Whose Soul Does the Creator Give to a Person?

294.4Question: Second grader Stasik asks the Creator: “Did You give me my own soul or someone else’s?”

Answer: No, you received your own soul. But if you are not satisfied with it, you can work to correct it.

Question: What kind of soul should one aim for?

Answer: One that loves everyone.

Question: Do people have this desire?

Answer: I do not think so.

Question: But what about children?

Answer: Personally, I think children are more inclined toward correction than adults.

Adults have already settled into their ways and believe that things will not and cannot get better, and they simply should accept what they have.

Question: Do children still hold on to hope?

Answer: Yes.

Comment: Ideally, with experience, we should…

My Response: But we do not. Where would we get the patience, experience, or determination to resist what we have? We just accept it as it is.

Question: Is this because of the blows? Because we constantly experienced setbacks and received blows?

Answer: Yes, it is because we are too lazy to correct ourselves.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 11/4/24

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Will Parasites Ever Be Punished?

294.4Comment: From a letter: “You always talk about kindness and love, but in reality, people treat each other like parasites.”

My Response: Of course.

Question: “And the kindest people in this world take the most blows from others and from fate. So the choice is either to be a parasite in life or to suffer from parasites. Please explain why one should be kind in this world, and why do you advise it?”

Answer: Because if we are kind, we become like the Creator. Then it will be better and easier for us both in this world and in the next.

Comment: But this person believes it is better for the parasites, those who use others and live that way.

My Response: That is just how it seems to him. In small, limited circumstances, he might be somewhat right. But overall in life, no.

Comment: So you are saying that we should still raise children with good relationships, with concepts of friendship, decency, and so on. And looking at the bigger picture, you say that this is correct.

My Response: Yes.

Comment: But if we narrow our focus, as he says, parasites just…

My Response: When you narrow your focus, you are limiting yourself to isolated cases. And then, of course, it seems better to be an egoist. But if you look at life as a whole, at what a person is left with, and where they end up after, then it is clearly better to be kind.

Question: Tell me, does this kindness ever come back to a person?

Answer: It does not exactly “come back.” It gives you the ability to understand why everything is made this way and how it is still better to act kindly.

Question: Is that important?

Answer: It is important.

Comment: Right now, you are not even saying that kindness will return to you as good.

My Response: We do not see that.

Question: But if we look at it globally, does it still return?

Answer: Not in our world.

Question: You are being so definitive: if you do good, good does not come back to you?

Answer: Yes.

Question: But we should not conclude from this that we should not do good? We should continue?

Answer: Yes.

Question: You started by saying that the Creator is good and does good and we must be like Him. Will this ever come back to me? Or should I not think about that at all?

Answer: The fact that you think this way and can act this way is already the Creator’s bestowal. This is already the reward.

Question: What about those who, as he says, are parasites, what happens to them? I would like to ask about them.

Answer: They calculate their dividends and believe they are happy.

Question: And you think they are not?

Answer: No.

Question: Can we say, as an egoist asking, that after they finish their life, in another world, will they be punished for being parasites? Or not? Will there be punishment?

Answer: Yes, without a doubt! And it will be in such a way that they will even not understand it at first.

Question: But it comes? Is this how the Creator teaches a person?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Through suffering like this?

Answer: It is not the Creator teaching the person; it is a general law of nature: everything a person does must be compensated for—good with good, evil with evil.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 8/12/24

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This Is Love

294.2Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs (Chrissy, age 6).

Question: Is this love?

Answer: Yes, it is love.

Question: Why, can you explain as if you were to explain this to the child?

Answer: Because he is giving away something he himself likes. It feels good for him to have it, but he gives it away.

Question: Is that a simple answer? I really want to eat it, but I give it to my friend. And this is called love?

Answer: Yes, that is love.

Comment: Another answer from the group of children who were asked what love is:
Love is what makes you smile when you are tired (Terri, age 4).

My Response: That is also love. Because by doing that, you uplift another person, elevate them, make them feel good against their will.

Question: So you are associating this with smiling for another person?

Answer: Yes.

Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day (Noelle, age 7).

My Response: This speaks more about the love of the boy who wears the shirt toward the one who complimented it.

Question: Why is that love?

Answer: Because the boy who wears the shirt wants to please the one who likes it.

You shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget (Jessica, age 8).

My Response: I don’t think such behavior should be taught to a child.

Question: But this is the child’s answer, an eight-year-old child. So if you do not love, should you say that you do?

Answer: No, you should not lie.

Question: And if you love, should you say that you do?

Answer: Probably, yes, but I think even in that case, not entirely.

Comment: The winner of the contest to find the most caring child judged by Leo Buscaglia was a four-year-old boy whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the neighbor’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked the boy what he said to the neighbor, the boy replied: “Nothing. I just helped him cry.”

My Response: These are somewhat unbelievable stories for a four-year-old child.

Question: But helping someone cry, what do you think about this moment of compassion?

Answer: It is good.

Question: Does it really help?

Answer: Of course!

Question: So the child sits down, looks at you, and cries with you?

Answer: Yes, but that is too much. It is somewhat unreal.

Question: I see. So here is a question: where does all this go afterward? Even all these answers—they contain such childlike purity. Where does it go? How do we become haters, warriors, killers, criminals? Where does the child inside us go? This child who grew up like this?

Answer: Egoism grows and consumes everything there is.

Question: And that is it?

Answer: That is it.

Question: Does this child remain in us or does it also…?

Answer: There is a possibility to start developing anti-egoistically, to suppress this ego within us.

Question: Can we return to this child even a little?

Answer: Yes, but it will not be a child anymore.

Question: Is it an adult child then?

Answer: Yes.

Question: When you say that an old man is like a child. A wise person is like a child. What do you mean when you say that? That the child does not die in us, that it remains?

Answer: Yes, the child does not die in us and remains because we desire to experience nature and life directly, like children.

Question: Is there this spontaneity in these answers?

Answer: Yes.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 3/25/24

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The Future Society: The Basis of Human Behavior

632.3Question: Baal HaSulam writes that the foundation for the future society will not be education and public opinion but something more serious. After all, education and public opinion only will not be able to convince egoists to become altruists. What can it be?

Answer: It will not just be education and public opinion. In such a system, everyone must consider what contribution they need to make to the common fund and receive from it only what is absolutely necessary for them.

Entire organizations will work on this, ensuring that each person gives their share into the so-called common pot.

Question: Baal HaSulam also says that a higher value, the upper force, can become such a basis. As we know from Kabbalah, the upper force is the quality of bestowal and love. It will become the highest ideal for humanity, and everyone will agree with this. How can this happen?

Answer: It is very simple, because people who feel that they are bestowing because they want to help others, to fulfill them, they will in turn receive a spiritual fulfillment, which will bring them to a higher level of existence.

And so, society will gradually elevate itself with all the controlling bodies, all the calculations, and will reorganize itself in such a way that there will be no need for police, overseers, or anything of the sort. Instead, there will be voluntary and honest accounting by each individual.

In other words, humanity will reach a state where it will feel the upper force. Working for it, manifested through working for others, will essentially become the fuel for a person.

Question: You are talking about some ideal state when people feel this. But what if a person does not feel that?

Answer: If a person is on such a level that he does not feel spiritual actions at all, then he needs to be engaged in them. Society must embrace him and show him: the more good he does, the more goodwill society will show him; the more evil he does, the less society will tolerate him.
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From KabTV’s “Era of the Last Generation” 8/8/24

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Why Do We Feel Good When Others Feel Bad?

504In the News (BBC): Dr Caspar Addyman from Goldsmiths, University of London is an expert on why babies laugh and author of The Laughing Baby.

“At Goldsmiths’ InfantLab, he leads an exciting branch of child development research designing laughter experiments, talking to parents around the world and even monitoring viral social media trends. …

“It’s actually in the second month that you will likely see your baby’s first real smile. …

“By about 3 or 4 months old, you may find that your baby starts to smile at the sound of your familiar voice. …

“Most of us think the starting point for laughing is a funny joke or action, but actually it’s a way of connecting to the people we’re with.”

Question: What does this indicate?

Answer: Children want to receive positive stimuli from their environment. Therefore, if people around them are smiling and laughing, it excites them in a positive way.

Question: We grow up, and all this fades away. We start to take pleasure in the misfortunes of others.

What happens to us? Where does that baby, that infant, go? Where does all of it disappear?

Answer: We sense the state of another person and rejoice in their problems. This instantly reassures us. We understand that it is not happening to us, and so we feel happy.

Question: At what point does this absolute and complete shift in thinking and consciousness?

Answer: When our egoism is aroused. We immediately start to orient ourselves around it.

Question: Now many would disagree and say they are not such egoists, but are quite the opposite. Many write to us saying this is not true, that they are giving, loving people, and so on. When does a person start to recognize this critical view of themselves? What is that moment?

Answer: This is already the next stage.

Question: So the first stage even for an adult is: “I am not an egoist, others are.” And the second stage is?

Answer: Is when they look at themselves.

Question: Will we ever return to that infant state when we are happy for the happiness of others?

Answer: If we create such an atmosphere among our friends, in a group, and so on, then we will return.

Question: So in principle a person should seek friends who look inside themselves?

Answer: Yes.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 4/8/24

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