Baal HaSulam, The Book of Zohar, Chapter “Beresheet (Genesis),” Item 195: It is so because upper AVI—Yod de HaVaYaH, GAR de Bina—are fear. YESHSUT—Hey de HaVaYaH, ZAT de Bina—are love. Therefore, when the Mochin de ZON come only from YESHSUT, Hey de HaVaYaH, it is considered that love preceded fear. And when they also come from upper AVI, Yod de HaVaYaH, it is considered that the fear preceded love, since Yod is fear and Hey is love. Thus, fear preceded love.
Fear preceded love. This is said about the created beings because this is the order in which they should correct themselves in relation to the Creator. While only love comes from the Creator, the created beings need fear, too, in order to evoke them to reach love.
This can be explained differently. The relationship between a father and a son should not be based on absolute love between them. This is so that they will always be careful that one wouldn’t stop loving the other.
After all, if one person loves the light without limit, he evokes hate by that. This is because the other person doesn’t feel the limits, and without them, he doesn’t feel love. It is very hard for him to get along with someone who has no limits.
We are built in such a way that we have to feel everything within a certain framework. Then, we can feel. However, without a framework, we lose the feeling. So, on one hand, I feel that the other loves me, but, on the other hand, I have nothing to hold onto when this love is limitless.
Therefore, I demand that he lets me feel his love. I begin to hate him because by his limitless love, he deprives me of the vessel in which I can feel this love. Without a vessel, I don’t feel it.
Therefore, Baal HaSulam says that, if parents love their children with absolute love, the children begin to hate them or at least to disrespect them. So, when we speak about education, we speak about limits, punishments, and pressures that parents have to put on their children so as not to deprive them of their vessels, the vessel of perception.
This is related to the upper system of Aba and Ima (fear) and Ishsut (Love) that must connect in influencing the lower. In other words, the upper part and the lower part of Bina (thought) must connect in order to influence the lower.
This means that fear and love must be connected. When these two systems connect, they influence the lower correctly. This will build the vessel and then fill it.
Thus, the deficiency that comes from the upper and demands correction will receive the light. This is so that it builds the lower in a way that will enable them to feel fear and then love, not in the opposite order, not love first, because this cannot be.
So, first of all, we must create our collective vessel and worry about the connection among us. Then, if the connection is fulfilled, love will flow in it.
From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson2/8/12, The Zohar