If he does not appease her, he will not stay the night with her because their desire must be as one, without coercion (Zohar for All, Beresheet – 2, “Reconciliation and Receiving Permission”).
Comment: When a married couple has already formed, many people believe that they live together, have a common way of life, joint affairs, and agree that their relationship seems to fade away, becomes forgotten.
My Response: No, it should not be that way, because that is how all relationships end. That is why it is said: “If he does not appease her, he will not stay the night with her.”
Question: Why is it said: “Stay the night with her”?
Answer: First, it has always been customary that in the house a woman has her own section, while the husband, children, and male relatives have the other section. For example, all the men go to dine in the women’s section and then return to their own section to sleep.
Question: Is this a kind of spiritual law? What is it based on?
Answer: It is based on our nature. First, you must go to your wife and please her with whatever you can: give her a gift or at least a bouquet of flowers. Then she shows you her favor by coming to you.
Question: Why can’t we always be in the same space?
Answer: No, that is not good because you cannot be together all the time. Negligence and other negative feelings start to creep in. On the contrary, this distance helps to maintain a spiritual relationship.
Question: Why has humanity rejected this spiritual law of dividing the home into male and female sections?
Answer: We live, as in the song by Vysotsky, “There is only one bathroom for 38 rooms.” Our way of life has kind of canceled it. But there should be a house divided into two sections so that the woman understands that this is hers. And the man might only have a folding bed in his section, and that is enough for him.
Question: How can we achieve that kind of distance like 300 years ago in our time? Can it be maintained today to improve relationships?
Answer: I think so. It is good when the husband and wife each have something separate, and there are hours when they spend time together. Then, perhaps, they will value the time spent together more.
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From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 7/30/24
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