What to Do if Your Mother-in-Law Is Hounding You to Death?

627.2Comment: Anya writes: “We live with our parents. My husband insisted on it because we wanted to save money. And now I cannot bear it anymore, I am bursting with hatred for his mother! She criticizes everything: how I cook, how I iron, how I raise children. We cannot move away yet, and my husband says we need to wait at least another year. I do not know what to do! I cannot live like this! Right now, I have closed myself in my room and I am writing to you. I understand that this is my ego, that I need to somehow adapt myself to her, but I cannot control myself. Does she not have an ego? A big one!”

My Response: Of course. But you should think about yourself. If you constantly put yourself down, you will eventually come to a state in which your ego will decrease, and this is good.

Question: So, peace will gradually come?

Answer: There may not even be peace, but as for you, you should see that such a state can be very useful.

Question: And when you say “put yourself down,” does that mean to agree?

Answer: To agree, to somehow distance yourself as far as possible and not to enter into conflicts.

Question: That is, his mother tells her: “You iron, cook, and raise children so badly.” Do you think this woman, Anya, should at least keep silent? And this will be advancement for her?

Answer: Yes.

Question: So, you see that this is a never ending war?

Answer: It cannot end in any way.

Question: Do you think that Anya should be smarter here?

Answer: She should be wiser.

Question: Should she close herself in her room? It is easier to leave and not listen. Just like that she closes herself in her room and stays there.

Answer: But that is not correction. Correction takes place only through contact.

She must tell herself that it is by this decision, when she does not enter into conflict and stays away from it in every possible way without arousing it, that she gradually corrects her egoism. In this way, she saves her family.

Question: Can you please tell her if she can move to such a state that at some point she will be able to say some kind words to her husband’s mother? Can this happen?

Answer: Only when she becomes convinced that she has corrected herself due to her husband’s mother. And then she can hug her and say “thank you.”

Question: Now you have introduced one more detail: that due to her husband’s mother she can correct herself. That is, she already has gratitude even for the mother whom she now hates?

Answer: Yes.

Question: But these first steps are not easy to take?

Answer: This can be corrected only if she sees in her husband’s mother the Creator who raises her this way.

Question: Could you please decipher the Creator for us? She sees that behind the mother there is something that is working with her. Should “and wishes me well” be added here? Should we make such a cluster or should we not?

Answer: The mother is ruled by the Creator. Anya should figure this out.

Question: Will it be good if Anya takes small steps in this?

Answer: If she does, then yes.
[317327]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 7/31/23

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