Question: Who in the family should be in charge?
Answer: The middle one between the husband and wife should be in charge, the one who called the Creator. Husband and wife with the Creator between them, and He is in charge.
Question: And before He appears, who should be in charge?
Answer: How can you determine who is in charge? Why should there be someone in charge at all? There should be a focus on connection, cooperation, unification, and mutual inclusion.
We must reach a state where we understand everything without words, support each other and communicate mentally. We don’t have to talk at all, as the wife usually reproaches her husband: “You don’t talk to me.” The man is used to being more silent, and the woman generally talks more.
But in fact, the best condition is when they do not need any communication, even tactile. They just feel each other as one organism.
And so I feel my partner, my children, and my family. Therefore, it is said: “The wife of a man, as his body.” You can feel each other to that extent.
Question: Therefore, in order to truly reveal the Creator, you need to feel a stranger as the closest person?
Answer: Yes. After all, only with the help of the family is it impossible to achieve connection with the Creator.
Question: So it is possible, but this connection will be minimal?
Answer: I can’t even imagine it. It is very difficult. A person needs a healthy egoism that leads him “out of himself.”
He needs the same internal egoism when he imagines his family or some other people as close ones so that there will be a difference between those and these, external and internal. And then he can orientate, build in himself all kinds of models of communication with others and thus, advance.
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah,” 1/1/19