Answer: Why fight with yourself? You can never overcome yourself because it is not you, but your egoism, which is much stronger than you, and you have nothing but that. This is a battle already lost.
The only thing you have to do is stick to the group as much as possible. Then you will have the strength, a direction, everything you need to overcome the problems.
Question: How can you not be trapped, thinking that you are developing, but in fact you have long since gone astray and are regressing?
Answer: Only by sticking to the group. I cannot give any other advice. If you have a ten, then you have a lifeline. If you do not have one, then you are drowning.
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian, 1/20/19