Answer: As a general rule you should write off all pain within yourself. Suppose that someone hurts you. You should try to forgive him, especially if this is someone close. Try rising above the situation and transform the offender from an enemy into a friend. You should transform everything into something good. In this way a person changes himself and begins to adjust himself correctly toward the world that is always good and is filled with only one higher Light.
If a person behaves like this in his relationships with people, then gradually he begins to perceive his environment correctly and through it see one great pleasure—the Light that is filling all of creation.
Question: Are you saying that all who condemn do so with their own defect (Kiddushin 70b), and if I have a negative feeling from someone, I am to blame?
Answer: Certainly. If you are feeling bad now, it is only because you are bad. There is nobody to blame but yourself.
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 1/31/16