Under The Power Of Trepidation
Rabash, “Dargot HaSulam,” Article 31: It is said: What does the Creator demand from us? – Only trepidation in front of Him.
It means that the Creator (a system of higher nature that has only one force that manifests itself through the system) inputs “something” into our thoughts… i.e., He asks us a question.
There is no other force in the universe except “none else besides Him.” Of course, the Creator would never make a creation that would go against Him; however, He created the thought (against Himself) so that trepidation in front of Him appears…
It is as if a person follows the Creator in his desire to find and reveal Him by scrutinizing in what kinds of interactions between us He can be found.
We cannot imagine how easy it is. Everything is right in front of us, but we look into the distance and don’t see what’s next to us. There is nothing but a psychological barrier. As soon as we switch and get out of ourselves, we begin sensing the Creator in the connections among us.
I move towards others and go outside myself. All of a sudden, it turns out that the natural force that connects, regulates, and holds everything together in the form of a perfect balance exists right here, together with us.
We are the ones who distort the balance and harmony by our egoistic intentions, desires, and relationships. We feel that it is us who are spoiling the balance and harmony. So, it’s clear that the world is something that is created solely by us against the background of perfection.
Attainment is about searching for the Creator using faith above reason. Attainment happens when we find the properties that are beyond this material level, above our earthly considerations and contrary to our logic. All our perceptions stem from the desire to receive for our own sake. That’s why we can’t agree with anything that contradicts this desire.
Conversely, the real world is outside us; it is in our external perception. That’s why faith above reason is a condition to which we all have to eventually arrive through sensing things that happen outside of our natural egoistic needs and aspirations.
Because of the sinner’s question, one has to agree to the power of the Creator over us again and again. This process is called “trepidation.”
The sinner’s question are the constantly arising needs, demands, and thoughts about the ways to please ourselves. It is a permanent movement towards ourselves. It’s when we take care only of ourselves in every possible way and at all levels. Sinners’ questions are given to us on purpose so that after we shake them off, we again start advancing.
And so on without end we fall into egoism by taking care of ourselves in our thoughts and desires. Then, we make efforts and rise again. This process continues until we get tired and refuse to fulfill this job. It goes on until we come to understand that only the environment can support us in this process and help us learn how to think of others.
If we stayed in the state of mutual guarantee and maintained the thought about helping each other, not just ourselves, everything would be very good. Why is that so? It’s because we are unable to think of others. We keep falling into desires of our own. However, if we are able to think about others and at the same time ask the Creator to help us, He will extend His help to us since He responds only to these kinds of thoughts and prayers because they are similar to His properties.
So, as soon as we begin aspiring to serve others and ask the Creator to grant us assistance, He responds immediately and helps us, since we, the group, and the Creator are on the same wavelength and in one joint movement. If we do it on our own, without the Creator, nothing will ever happen. Even if we are together with the group, it won’t happen. There must be a system of a triangle: Me, the group, and the Creator.
This structure must also be accompanied by trepidation. We have to be careful and watchful so that we won’t turn away from our path or lose the correct direction. Our egoism will tear us apart, split us from the inside and whisper: “Please forget about the Creator and the group. Nothing is wrong with abandoning them! The main thing is to either think of yourself or just about the others without involving the third element.”
At this point, we need tremendous support. The more of us that participate in this movement, the better it is. The general mass of people who secure an absolutely correct advancement is called 600,000 souls.
It is a conditional number that is not even a number, but rather a general advancement that causes the impact of Zeir Anpin on Malchut. Since Zeir Anpin consists of six Sefirot that influence Malchut, by influencing a point in Malchut with the Light of Hochma, its level multiplies to 600,000.
Thus, by getting support, we really become able to feel trepidation and constantly stay in the state of permanent aspiration to advance.
This explains the meaning of the phrase: “The Creator made everybody fear Him.” Every bad state that one feels is essential to keep one in one’s current condition.
In other words, if one has not yet climbed the stairs of the Creator’s greatness, one has no chance to overcome oneself. Only when one feels the greatness of the Creator, one’s heart surrenders. It means that one has already ascended the steps of trepidation.
How can one understand that one has reached the state of trepidation, attained the correct level of excitement, and knows how to take care of others? It happens when a person realizes that in his care for others he feels the Creator’s fulfillment. One’s Kli (vessel) becomes corrected only when it receives fulfillment. Until then, we have to continue searching for the fulfillment both in quantity and quality so that our concern, trepidation, and intention will be correctly formulated and will match the level that is above our ego.
For that, we are given the greatness of the group, the importance of our friends, as a means of connection among us, as an exercise tool. It is done solely to feel the Creator’s fulfillment at the end of the process; the gratification inside our ten Sefirot that we can sense only together in the connection between us. When we tie ourselves into this knot, we begin feeling ourselves as a unity inside the unified.
Naturally, one vanishes when one reaches a state of an overall connection. One loses one’s “I-ness.” From one’s individual “I,” one transitions to “we,” from “we” to unity in which “me – we – the Creator” are one whole. It is said: “He and His Name are One.” The Creator is the Light and His name is a Kli (vessel).
So, all these questions and other numerous obstacles bring one to sense the need in the Creator, in His help.
In other words, we are not capable of asking questions and we can’t even make correct mistakes since when we let ourselves go, we commit errors that immediately make us fall. In order to make correct mistakes, we have to aspire forward. It is said: “I created the evil inclination and the Light to correct it.” How does the evil manifest itself? Where can we detect and see it?
It turns out that these words are not about the evil that exists in this material realm and it is not the evil of our relationships with each other. Not a single person in the world knows what the evil made by the Creator is in fact. The wickedness that has to be corrected reveals in us only when we aspire to unity in the right way.
If we aspire to unity and strive to correctly connect in mutual advancement and if by sharing trepidation, we manage to help others not only ourselves, then we begin sensing our egoistic nature, we realize how strongly we are repulsed by it and how extensively we hate, not only each other, but also ourselves. This revelation is so disgusting that we repel it. We stop searching for other internal negative qualities.
At this point, the recognition of evil occurs. The Creator warns us beforehand that it is He who made the evil inclination and that it is us who should reveal it by aspiring to Him. So, we need a special kind of trepidation. We have to make efforts not to shy away from them, and to control, inspect, and check ourselves regularly.
We have to take a close look at whether we subconsciously avoid the revelation of our egoism as something very unpleasant for us. On the contrary, we have to enjoy the process of revelation of the evil inside us since it is an essential stage in our advancement.That’s why we have to be prepared to deal with very unpleasant sensations and enjoy them because they are accompanying our advancement towards the Creator.
At the same time, we should never forget about the Creator’s greatness. We cannot imagine what the upper force is, what, in fact, exists in the universe and not just in the limited picture that we sense now. It is impossible to understand to what extent the picture that dwells in our thoughts and sensations is artificial.
Scientists have already figured out that we are in a dormant state, that we live in illusions and inside a matrix that creates a distorted picture, a dream. Our egoism locks us inside ourselves, which is why we regard everything that happens as if it takes place inside us. Only when we go out and stop sitting in the shell of our own selves do we begin sensing the real world.
Before it happens, it is very difficult to visualize what the upper reality is. It is not at all like our universe, nothing like the solar system, and the Earth or its surface. We just visualize these things as if we are asleep, in our dreams.
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From the Convention In St. Petersburg “Day One” 9/19/14, Lesson 1
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