The first commandment that was given to us is the commandment of fear. This means fearing whether I am advancing down the spiritual path, whether I am acquiring the spiritual world, whether I understand what I read the right way, and whether I really act in the group.
In short: Will I succeed? I have to be consumed with this worry all the time. If I relax, then I immediately get off the track leading to the goal.
In our world, psychology enumerates over 800 kinds of fear. Do I earn enough? Am I healthy? Will something bad happen to me?
However, in Kabbalah, we are not talking about derived fears, but the primordial fear: Am I going toward the goal? Will I be able to bestow? This is already worry for something for which I don’t feel the slightest need.
Will I feel this need? Will I acquire it sufficiently in order to make efforts and aim toward the goal? I have to carry out an entire process: from the smallest worry that isn’t even clear yet, to full fledged fear aimed precisely at the goal like an arrowhead, which brings me to the realization, “Do I sufficiently give to the Creator? Do we become equal in this way? Am I not in a lower position, like a guest who receives the host’s feast in a way that he isn’t ashamed?”
This fear is the first commandment. But it is something we have to acquire. We do not have it initially. The goal is invisible and I don’t care about the quality of bestowal. Do I really need love for the neighbor? But I have to come to need it to such a degree so as to feel fear, “What if I don’t attain it?”
This is simply an outrage from the perspective of egoism. It’s completely unnatural.
However, by means of the environment and the Light that reforms, we can attain this. Fear helps us attain the worry: Will I receive the Light so it will turn me into a person who worries about bestowal?”
Therefore, we are yet to go through a big process of building the necessary conditions. However, in reality it is possible to actualize it simply. In this regard everything depends on the extent of the efforts we make.
First of all, I have to really be scared for my spiritual path. “Am I advancing toward the goal correctly?” Secondly, only once I acquire fear does the quality of love come to me because there is no love without fear.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbaah Lesson 3/4/11 on Love