Question: After two hours of work during the workshop, we received the feeling of fulfillment and joy from connection. What should our next step be? What should our prayer be for in order to not “squander” this state in vain?
Answer: We began our workshop with trepidation. We cannot forget that this is the basis for successful work. Everything that we do further needs to be grounded in this foundation. Whatever I may be doing physically, wherever my thoughts may take me, I am always monitoring my trepidation: “Do I quiver inside? Are my hopes and aspirations coming true? Am I moving forward or not?”
It is quite possible that I am falling into how I feel. Is this good or bad? In many I saw that many were not happy because they believed that here, they will be exalted on the wings of love. While others perceived it as the right state and correctly identified the degree of trepidation.
Thus, when we start to worry: “What is happening to me?! Why am I not ascending?! Why am I not in the correct connection with the others?! Where is my burning, outrage, dismay?!” Then there is a fear that there is something wrong with what is happening to me. This is an excellent state!
It is not for nothing that the first commandment is called the commandment of awe, of fear, worry. Only not about ourselves, but about whether I will be able to truly reach the property of bestowal.
What type of fear can there be in the property of bestowal? First and foremost, rising above yourself, annulling yourself, for only then the trepidation for others appears in me. I aim only to see where and how I can help my friends be connected with each other and sense this fear in a way that it would permeate everyone. Trepidation means mutual care, mutual worry so that each of us can be a correct element for the others.
At the same time, I direct my thoughts to the entire world group. Will we be able to achieve this? Will we finally be thinking about this constantly? I need to take care to fulfill my mission with respect to all the friends in the world! This is what my trepidation contains and not an egoistic fear for my own self.
I need to be concerned about everyone, to feel the friends the way a mother feels her children. It is internal attention and support. We will not achieve anything if we will sail on the waves of our egoism. And if it is not working out, cry, pray, ask. But we need to be doing something.
Right now, we received an addition of egoism. Before the congress, we were all inspired, subtle, ready to hold on to whatever it takes in order to not fly off. Now, on the contrary, we do not know how to rise up. Such are the rules: In order to overcome this degree, we are given added heaviness, and we must lift it.
We need to do this together. We should feel ourselves as interconnected, supporting one another.
I, too, invested a lot of effort, time, health, and life in order for something to work out. I also look at all of this, just like every one of you, from the point of view of implementation. We depend on each other. Just like my success is determined by you, so each of you determines the success of all.
From the Convention in St. Petersburg “Day One” 9/9/14, Lesson 2