Question: When we sat in circles, the question about the love of friends came up. Since it was a mixed circle, a number of friends said that the issue of the love of friends is very important, but they don’t understand how to do it in a mixed circle.
Answer: Do you think that the meaning of love is sex? What does it have to do with love for a woman or a man? It has nothing to do with it!
In our world, everything is distorted, and the concept of love means taking advantage of one’s partner just like eating fish, which means that we use it in order to eat it. So, when I say that I love a woman, it means that I use her and enjoy her just like I enjoy fish. Is this the kind of love that you mean?
Love is a feeling that awakens in the mutual spiritual adhesion where the feeling of the Creator is revealed. We have no such feeling! The Creator is the upper force that is revealed in us, and it is called love.
In corporeality, the contact between a man and a woman is nothing more than hormones, genes, and habit. What does that have to do with love? After all, we are adults and we understand it. Everything that happens on the still, vegetative, and animate levels of nature is only a habit, especially if there are common children. This isn’t love!
Throughout human history, people never married for love. It is only in our days that everything became distorted. In the past, no one even spoke about whether he loves her and she loves him. The parents would find the right match according to their social status, mentality, and education, and then they would send the matchmakers. This is how people used to marry, and it was the same in every culture and every people!
Royalty usually used to marry for political reasons. It wasn’t about physical attraction at all. Couples were matched from the same village, or the same status, the same circle. Therefore, what we call love today is a modern distortion.
Love is the feeling of the Creator! This special attribute occurs at the connection of our souls, the mutual incorporation, and they complement each other, helping each other.
Love is made of three components: “I,” the egoistic created being that is opposite from me (whether a man or a woman), and the Creator that is revealed between us. As it is written, “Love thy neighbor as thyself,” and, if it says in the Torah that Jacob loved her, for example, it refers to the connection between Zeir Anpin and Malchut.
Therefore, we should distinguish between physical attraction and true love. Then, everything would be much simpler.
From lesson 5 of the Convention In Sochi “Day Two” 7/14/14