Question: When at the lesson, how do you renew your intention between the opposites that pull you in different directions?
Answer: It is a good thing to have disturbances. As soon as one renews his intention, it slips away once again, and other calculations start dragging him down.
And once again he is being reminded from the heavens that his thoughts do not relate to spiritual advancement. And once again he finds the strength to analyze his situation and ask to quickly come out of the quagmire towards unity.
He returns to the topic of the lesson with this point of unity, in order to cling to The Zohar as much as possible.
This is the “study of the Torah” – not “hitting the books” but studying oneself. Because in the end we reveal ourselves. It is written: “I will see the Creator from my own flesh.” This way we approach the truth.
Those who think that they need to know the material studied are mistaken. One must know who he is and learn who he is through the written text. “Who am I, that the Torah teaches to pertain to the Light?” I discover all my contradictions, all the disturbances, and types of spiritual connection, all the “pros” and “cons.”
This is what I must learn. The Torah gives lessons to my evil inclination, by putting it before the Light. It is written: “I created the evil inclination and the Torah to accompany it.” When both of these factors manifest before man, and he begins to verify one through the other, this is the studying of the Torah.
I do not study the text; I study myself. When I strive towards the truth, the text brings me the sensation of the extent of my separation from it. People are like machines; they study the text, but there is Torah that you study on yourself. It is written: “We will see the Light in Your Light.”
This is a different kind of study where you work together with the disturbances, resisting them; this is a practical self-study. “Who am I in comparison to the Creator?” This is the essence of this study.
All the disturbances and problems that prevent me from immersing myself into the reality that I am reading about are the differences between me and the Creator. And when I rise above all the faces of my egoism, I demonstrate readiness to move ahead, towards Him.
From the lesson 11/29/10, Introduction to The Book of Zohar