Question: How should we build integral relations in the family? Which attributes and features are typical of man’s behavior and woman’s behavior from the integral perspective? Or perhaps there are no such discernments according to the integral method?
Answer: We have what we were given by nature. No matter how hard I try, I cannot be a woman, not in cleaning, washing, ironing, cooking, or in tidying up the whole house in ten minutes. It would take me five hours, and it would still be untidy. Nature hasn’t given man the same skills, the same attitude, the same movement towards what is called a “home.”
This is a woman’s issue, the female part, the female fate, the female area. A woman should manage the home. She should feel that she is the manager of the home and that it is hers.
A lack of education has created a totally different attitude towards the home and towards the family, but as a whole the concern for the home was given to women by nature. You can observe animals: each male mates and leaves, while the female gives birth to the offspring, takes care of them, licks and feeds them, teaches them how to hunt, how to be grown-ups, and sends them out into the world. We can see that in every species. That’s the way it is determined by nature, except perhaps for certain periods of time like when birds sit on eggs together until they hatch.
When we look at people, everything is organized this way, the man goes hunting while the woman guards the home, and you cannot escape this. The closer we are to nature, the more comfortable and pleasant we will feel and the stronger the agreement between us will be. In any case these attributes are part of us and we cannot suppress them in any way. Even if there are mutations, we still have our instincts, Hollywood, unisex, and other fashionable trends do not change a thing.
Therefore, we should arrange a place for everyone to talk about relative rights and duties, and the relationships between men and women. If we don’t have the right relationship, then there will be no family or anything except a negative population growth. So we have to put an end to this once and for all and not dance to the tune of different political parties that want to reach the government, trying to be so original by demanding rights for different groups.
I am not for limiting rights or for the oppression of any group in favor of the other. I am for learning from nature and being similar to it as much as we can; that’s all.
Second, our deck is arranged so that the man has to be the chief provider, and the woman has to take care of the family and educate the children. There is no way we can escape this! We see that if a woman doesn’t do that, then no one does. The result is that the next generation will be even worse than this generation. This means that we have to make sure that the woman will be free, not busy but actually free.
It isn’t that we lock her up in some domestic monastery or behind a locked door. On the contrary, she should study, go to the university at whatever age, and even all of her life. She should take different courses and constantly enrich her knowledge so that she will be an educational role model for her children and her husband. This means that a mother that feels as the real owner of the home should also feel that she is the backbone of the family from whom the whole family will learn about the world, about the right attitude towards life, about education, and everything else.
After all, a man is always under the influence of a woman. Who doesn’t listen to his wife and is secretly afraid of her? It is because everything comes from the mother; after all, we understand our psychology.
So it is very important that we constantly elevate the woman, educate her, and fill her. Through her, this fulfillment passes on to the rest of society. This means that she should take an active part in her own development and education, and also in the education and teaching of all the members of the family.
If we don’t have this revolution, then we will lose the family, the children, our population, society, etc. We can do all this through the woman. In order to do this, the media has to make a little effort. It should not be a government plan but a global one.
From a “Talk on Integral Upbringing” 5/28/12