Why did the Creator create everything so strangely? He built a palace, invited all His beloved guests, and then placed guards and policemen around the palace who are testing and checking the guests, not letting them pass and causing them pain and suffering. Didn’t the Creator know in advance who would be loyal to Him, who loves Him and who doesn’t? Why does the Creator reject us all? Is it so that only those who can overcome all the obstacles will pass, in order to prove their loyalty and readiness?
The point is that it is in this struggle that our desire is formed; a vessel for receiving the filling in the King’s palace is built and stabilized. Otherwise, how would we be able to build this vessel? After all, it wasn’t given to us readymade from Above. If we were not allowed to pass without a reason, would that be justified? It is as if I yearn for the Creator with all my heart, and here some guard throws me down the mountain.
The point is that I am totally opposite to the attributes required to reach the top of the mountain. I am not the person I should be to become a guest at the King’s palace. It is only thanks to the guards that I constantly change by becoming more and more adapted.
These forces, of course, are depicted in my ego as vicious, cruel guards who don’t let me pass. The Creator is the cruelest of them all because He is the one who posted all these guards and policemen. He created my evil inclination and all the problems and suffering that relate to it. It is as if he gave birth to a poor, sick child and instead of feeling sorry for him, He even beats him, as if the child is guilty of something.
Apparently, all our complaints are justified, but the point is that the only way to build the right vessel is with the help of the right attributes that we receive, which we don’t have from the start. So the right approach is to divide myself into two. From one perspective you see what there is in your egoistic desire. From a second perspective, you see what there is in your desire to bestow, in your yearning to resemble the Creator, which means according to the ascent up the mountain, on top of which there is the King’s palace.
Following these two perspectives is called the “middle line.” With regard to your desire to receive this is the most terrible way in which there is no justice but actually only the opposite! You will not be able to justify the desire to bestow or to support it so much. This is because we should exert ourselves on both sides, both from the side of the ego and from the side of the yearning for bestowal.
What’s important is that you are looking at these two points independently from a neutral zone. It is as if you rose to Keter and from there you are watching this machine, like the Creator. It doesn’t belong to you, but it is yours only if it helps you resemble Him. Thanks to it, you can become like Him, reach adhesion with Him, and look at everything else as a means to attain that.
Thus you can justify, understand, and go through all these trials “above reason”: both as the egoist and as the one that bestows. This is because this bestowal is also totally based on receiving.
You want to adhere to the Creator instead of being connected to your desire to receive. The desire to receive is merely a tool for you to attain the Creator. With the help of the Torah, (the Reforming Light), you have to turn this evil inclination into the good inclination with which you will adhere to the Creator.
In order to adhere to the Creator, you need the good inclination, but in order for this good inclination to be able to help you adhere to it, you should approach it from the side of the evil inclination by using the Torah. All of creation was created in order to reach adhesion with the Creator. From this point of adhesion, which we want to attain, we have to look at the whole process we are going through. Then you will cut yourself off the egoistic perspective and not look at yourself through your desire to receive, through your ego. You will constantly be above it and look at it from the side, as at a means for achieving a goal.
This is why it is so important to constantly raise the greatness of the goal, the Creator, the group, and the friends. Because this will help you relate to everything else as to tools.
From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/15/12, The Study of the Ten Sefirot