Yesterday I had a conversation with the youth group. A young woman of about twenty years old stood up to ask a question, and you could see by looking at her that she is in a state of despair and feels heavy-hearted. She asked, “What do I do with all of this? Can it really be that every person who advances along this path feels this way?” I replied, “Yes, and even worse…”
A person has to go through the state of total despair in order to realize his inability to advance by means of his own egoism, as he had advanced through life until now. After all, to attain spirituality, a person has to reject his desire to enjoy using the past desires and pleasures. He must decide that the egoistic desire will never let him attain the spiritual fulfillment, contrary to what he thought before.
When his point in the heart first awakened, it was but a continuation of the previous material desires: it wanted to receive pleasure from spirituality in the same was as from corporeality. The person thought, “Wow, now I have a new desire! Who cares if I can’t fulfill it with the earthly things? I’ll soar up to the heavens and find my fulfillment there!” He continued to behave on the path of Kabbalah using the old means. He expected to attain everything on his own, using his own power and pride, using his own “I.”
But as time goes by, he sees that nothing is going right. And because of this, he sinks into despair, just like any person whose plans aren’t being accomplished. Every person has to go through this on the spiritual path. A person has to discern his objectives, intentions, sensations, and most important, his life values. It all depends on the efforts a person puts forth toward advancement: how quickly will he exhaust this list of discernments?
As he goes through all the sensations in the list of his new “I,” he begins to understand that he is not his own Boss, and he won’t win this war with his own strength. Only the Creator can do this, because the person is in the Creator’s hands, in the hands of the Upper Force. It is this Force that does everything, makes him move, places all the obstacles along his path and gives him the strength to overcome them. The Upper Force swings him up and down, over and over again, in order to bring him to a true prayer: to create a true desire within him, without which he can never feel the spiritual world.
I depend on the Creator and work together with Him. I ask, and the Creator does. As soon as we find the common movements among us, we will attain mutual happiness, where my plea and His desire will unite into one whole and we will attain unity.
The Creator throws the end of the rope to a person, and a person has to catch it in order to start advancing.
(From the Preparation to the Daily Kabbalah Lesson)