Question: Is it possible to alleviate a friend’s illness by taking part of it upon oneself? And how can I transfer a feeling of happiness to a friend?
Answer: If my system is higher than yours, it is more filled with happiness because it exists on a higher level of life and balance. Therefore, when you are in despair, it can pass some of its energy to you, a measure of happiness, to the extent that an inner connection exists between us.
From that higher system, you appear like a small child; it is greater than you because happiness is higher than dissatisfaction in its level of awareness and value. It doesn’t even matter what makes a person happy; it may be something very simple.
Question: How do we actually transmit happiness to one another: through words, feelings, thoughts?
Answer: We can transmit happiness even without any of these; it all depends on the level of our connection: inanimate, vegetative, animate, or human. Happiness flows from a higher system into a lower one depending on the quality of our connection and on how much, at that moment, I am able to annul myself before my friend.
All people are connected with everyone. We don’t need to build this connection or cut it off. We are already tied into one network, like neurons in the brain or like cells in a single body.
The whole universe is one system. The only question is how much we humans recognize this and wish to reveal, enliven, and strengthen this connection between us and all parts of creation. But the connection already exists. The degree to which we become aware of this connection determines the measure of our friendship.
Question: On whom does it depend whether my friend’s happiness will flow into me—on him or on me?
Answer: It requires mutuality; it cannot be done one-sidedly. You must at least slightly open yourself to such a transfer with respect to the friend. Suppose your grief is so great that you completely close off inside yourself and separate from others, then you cannot absorb anything from them.
Question: What does it mean to open myself to the influence of a friend?
Answer: It means to love him as yourself. This is about a true heart-to-heart connection where we do not feel ourselves as separate bodies or foreign systems, but feel so close as if we were one whole.
Our two systems become so intertwined that they function as one. Our connection is limitless; an infinite flow of information, feelings, and thoughts pass between us. These are two systems, but they are linked in the closest possible way.
Question: How should I open myself to a friend for his positive influence?
Answer: In the same way an infant behaves in its mother’s arms, completely annulling itself before her. The infant knows nothing about itself and understands nothing; it is tuned only to absorb everything from its mother. This is why babies develop so quickly; we transmit everything we have to them.
We not only pass on tender words and smiles, but energy, our attitude. A baby absorbs this energy through thousands of sensors it possesses.
We must become like infants, completely annulling ourselves, with all our problems, in relation to the influence of our friends. Then they will be able to transfer their happiness to us as much as they wish. Unlike misfortune, happiness does not decrease when shared; it only grows. The more we make others happy, the happier we become.
The energy of happiness has no limits. To the extent that we can give and fill others, we will feel an even greater desire and capacity to do so in ourselves. After all, in this way we connect to the source of the Big Bang’s energy, to the upper force that created and sustains the entire universe.
Question: Then according to this, people who work in service of others should be very happy. Why don’t we see this?
Answer: Because they give against their will, and therefore they constantly feel drained. A mother, however, who loves her baby, may become physically tired, but she never tires of caring for him or loving him.
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From KabTV’s “New Life 242 – Happiness And Social Ties,” 10/17/13
Related Material:
Happiness from the Perspective of Kabbalah
Happiness For A Kabbalist
How Can We Be Happy?
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