At the just-ended Olympic Games in Tokyo, there was a very touching moment when an Israeli athlete Linoy Ashram, who won first place in rhythmic gymnastics competitions, took off the gold medal she received and hung it around the neck of her coach. And in fact, this is not surprising, because a coach for an athlete is like a father or mother, everything depends on the coach. Without him, an athlete is only raw material in the hands of a sculptor. The coach makes him a champion, and, of course, the medal rightfully belongs to the coach.

The athlete feels that it is the coach who took first place. And the coach feels that the athlete sacrificed himself to faithfully follow the instructions of the coach, and this is their joint success. There is usually a very close, warm connection between a coach and an athlete, and it cannot be otherwise.

It is said that “a person is jealous of everyone except for his son and his student.” After all, a real teacher puts everything he has into the student, and the student’s achievements indicate the teacher’s skill. The medal is awarded not to the coach, but to the athlete, but it does not matter. After all, the teacher’s reward is not in a medal, but in an inner feeling, in reaching a new degree.

If I ever achieve high achievements in spirituality, it will be only thanks to my teacher. I can still feel him guiding me.

I really hope that my students, whom I “coach” for spiritual ascent, will reach such high levels that the Creator will be revealed in each of them, and they will also turn into great teachers for all mankind.

I see in the students the continuation of the path. The student becomes the hands of the teacher, his mind. Everything that I want to achieve in life, I bring to my students, and they continue to pave the way.
[285982]
From KabTV’s “Look from the Inside” 8/9/21

Related Material:
To Love Is To Rejoice In The Success Of Another
The Pain And Yearning Of A Teacher
Annulment Of The Student Before The Teacher

Filed under: Children, Education, Spiritual Teacher - No Comments →

Comment: Many rules and protocols dictate the life of Queen Elizabeth of Great Britain who is already 95 years old.

She usually wears the St Edward’s Crown when in full ceremonial attire. But several times more recently she opted to wear a smaller tiara. When asked why she didn’t wear the crown for a ceremony, “she described it, ‘as unwieldy.’

“‘You can’t look down to read the speech, you have to take the speech up, because if you did your neck would break – it would fall off,’ she said, smiling.

My Response: Right! Dynasty, kings, all this is very necessary for the world. The king is the king! Just as there is a king in heaven, there must be a king on earth! To keep Australia, Canada—its dominions.

Question: Do you need education and do you need dynasties?

Answer: Yes! It must be an inner feeling. Like this Queen Elizabeth. And she is respected everywhere in the world.

Comment: She said: “It has always been easy to hate and destroy. It is much more difficult to build and cherish”(“Christmas Broadcast 1957”) “Cherish” refers to people.

My Response: Only the king or the queen can afford it.

Question: If this is a dynastic upbringing, then there is pain for the people?

Answer: It is hers! It is his! “These are my servants, these are my people!” “This is me and mine. This is my home!” And not that you will now be elected for five years or for another period. There is nothing to talk about here!

Comment: She also said in 1957: “There is no doubt that the darkest phenomena in society come from divorce and general separation” (The Queen: Life and Times of  Elizabeth II).

My Response: Yes. On this, she completely agrees with me. I am in favor of such a marriage, which is usually called Catholic. That is, there is no divorce. Everything!

Question: If there are children?

Answer: If there are children, there is nothing to talk about at all! But even if there are no children, people should know in advance that there can be no divorce! The only thing is that there should be parental consent too. So that the young do not do stupid things.

Question: What does parental consent give?

Answer: It gives a seal that they are serious, that they deliberated it, convinced their elders on both sides that they were going to start a serious family.

Question: And when the queen says: “general separation,” does she mean when the right and the left are fighting among themselves and so on?

Answer: As if people know what ideals they are fighting for …

Question: That is, she, as a queen, must ensure that everyone rises above this separation?

Answer: Yes. She does everything only for the sake of the country, for the sake of the people.

Question: Is it imbued in her?

Answer: Yes, this is the old upbringing.

Comment: The Queen is also said to have said that she often throws unpleasant thoughts out of her head.

My Response: That is why she lived to be 95 years old and still continues to live. If unpleasant thoughts suddenly come, do not digest them, do not chew them over.

Question: Is that what you do? If an unpleasant thought comes to you, what do you do with it?

Answer: I have a lot of study material. I immediately plunge into it. I give lessons every day. Life arranged itself in such a way and I arranged it myself in such a way that I am obliged to go forward all the time.

Comment: “I know of no single formula for success. But over the years I have observed that some attributes of leadership are universal and are often about finding ways of encouraging people to combine their efforts, their talents, their insights, their enthusiasm and their inspiration to work together” (UN General Assembly July 6, 2010).

My Response: Absolutely.

Comment: She says that this is what a leader should be—uniting.

Answer: Yes.

Question: Why does no one hear it?

Answer: They cannot rise above their petty egoism! She does because she has an empire. She must hold it, she must represent it, take care of it. She has no other choice. And they do not have this importance, mission, nothing.

Question: They are in their egoism, and she can rise above it. Is this the key word, what you said: “This is my home, my people, this is mine”?

Answer: That is what a king has.

Question: Does the fact that someone is elected for five years, that he fights to be elected, is this killing everything? Because it is not dynastic, it is not inherited?

Answer: Yes. And the king does not need it! He builds his position on completely different grounds.

He can respect, he can explain, he can speak. He has a representative office, he has it all. And moreover, the most important thing that is in him, although in recent generations this is perhaps not visible, he has upbringing! He is raised to be an heir, a king, and so on. There is a huge amount of science and everything that he should know.

Comment: “ We cannot put an end to wars or stop injustice, but the effect of thousands of small good deeds put together can be stronger than we can imagine” is another quote attributed to Queen Elizabeth II.

My Response: Indeed, everything is achieved with the help of very small corrections, which together give us the final complete correction.

Question: And what is really a good deed?

Answer: In my eyes, a good deed is when you rise above all personal, social, and other egoistic approaches and refer them only to the Creator, when you understand that all this comes to you from above in order for you to rise above it.
[283389]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 4/29/21

Related Material:
The Rules Of The Great Sages
Who Chooses The Leaders?
Leaders And Charisma

Filed under: Children, Crisis, Education, Globalization, News - No Comments →

Question: What is your attitude to the fact that now the family is based on the principles of the marriage contract? Moreover, everyone tries to win at the expense of the other and run away from responsibility, if something happens to a partner, if he gets sick, etc.

Answer: So you come to me with a broken leg and ask: “How can I jump from the second floor?” and you cannot even walk. That is, you have come to me with a problem and are trying to solve another one with its help.

The initial problem is education. Today we cannot demand from a couple who is going to unite some unrealizable, completely unrealistic conditions when they are absolutely not prepared for it.

Nobody taught them this, nobody educated them, nobody raised them to the required level. They grew up on television shows, beer, cigarettes, and discos. Now they suddenly decide: “Let’s move in, we will live together. Okay, let’s get married.” And that’s all.

They act in accordance with the way they were raised. How can you demand something from them? Or what can they demand from each other? Of course, nothing. They do not ask each other the simplest life questions: “Where are we going to get money for living? How are you going to provide for the family? What kind of upbringing are you going to give our children?” Nobody talks about it.

Therefore, the problem here is not in marriage, not in the marriage contract or agreement, but in educating such people from infancy who will then come in the right way to creating a family. Yet, when they are going to sign an agreement between them or just decide to move in together, it’s too late to talk about it.

If a person was brought up to think only of himself, nothing is going to help him, and you will not force him to do anything. All the same, he will avoid alimony and you will not even want to deal with him.

There is absolutely no such concept as duty in the new generation. My place in the world, in nature, me as a father, as a husband, as a man, as a citizen, as a soldier; there is no such thing! No! And this is natural. Our egoism was developing all the time and we did not give it the appropriate framework, a program for its correct behavior.

Comment: We were constantly trying to restrain it.

My Response: This is all we did, we were constantly putting pressure on egoism and it broke free. In the end, it broke free. “You can’t do anything to me!” This is what any small child declares to his parents.

Indeed, try to slap him, he will go to the police (children already know that you can go to the police). That’s it. This is where it all starts, with absolute freedom. If you try to stop serving him, he will also go to the police: you owe him.

On the one hand, you have no right to put pressure on him with your education; on the other hand, you are obliged to completely serve him. Modern children know this very well. They are ready to use this without any sentimentality. You cannot command them, and you are not an authority for them.

This is egoism. I do not blame them at all. This is how our egoism grows within us. If I were in their place, I would be the same.

If we considered the evolution of egoism in us correctly, then in accordance with this we would give children the correct program of behavior so that they would be happy in the end. If we really took care of them sensibly, correctly, then all this would not have happened. However, today, when you already have a broken leg and tell me: “I want to jump,” you have to wait until it mends, you need to do something with it, treat it.
[281357]
From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Marriage contract” 8/19/09

Related Material:
What Is A Prenuptial Agreement For?
The Foundation Of The Family
There Is No Place More Comfortable Than Home

Filed under: Children, Education, Man and Woman - No Comments →

New Life 1314 – Emotional Balance In The Family
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Yael Leshed-Harel

In an emotionally balanced family, the members of the family know how to get along with each other and how to help each other. The emotional balance of each individual in a family depends on the family as a whole.

Children who grow up in a connected environment know how to relate to others correctly, are comfortable to live with, and don’t invade anyone’s space. A child can cause a family to lose its balance and upset the general atmosphere. Parents should show that they are not impressed by a child’s extreme behavior. They should set an example by the kind of attitude that they show to others and by keeping their own emotional balance.

The parents’ goal is to show that there is a limit to any emotion or relationship.
[285625]
From KabTV’s “New Life 1314 – Emotional Balance In The Family, ” 8/1/21

Video: Play Now | Download

Audio: Play Now | Download

Filed under: Children, New Life - No Comments →

Comment: A young girl writes: “I can draw well and play a musical instrument. I would really like to change the world, give it something. But what is the point if I study to be a musician or an artist if the world no longer needs it. Where can I put my skills, my desire to do something for others?”

My Response: First, there is a difference between a profession and a vocation. A profession is imposed on us by society based on what it needs. Therefore, if once artists, musicians, and poets were held in high esteem, today this is not the time. Maybe soon it will be like that again, but any period can drag on for two hundred years.

Question: So she needs to look for a calling?

Answer: Yes. If, for example, she draws, let her be a teacher of drawing. But the main thing is how she realizes herself internally in addition to earning. She also wants to make a hobby out of her profession. Not many people accomplish that. So maybe she needs to come to terms with it.

In addition, she is a woman, she will have a family and children. All this will overshadow her noble impulses a bit.

Comment: You have just touched on the matter of profession and vocation. Society pushes us to make a lot of money. Therefore, people with a vocation that does not bring large incomes have an inner break. A person does not know how to deal with the desire to make money, to become great, to change something on a global level.

My Response: First of all, making money is one thing. Changing something at the global level is different. Make it your profession? Make it your hobby? The person hasn’t decided yet. Therefore, it is difficult to give specific advice here.

I would advise him, first of all, to decide. He needs good, smart, grown-up people, maybe even a psychologist who would gradually explain to him what is best for him. Together they would “speak through” his inner world.
[279042]
From KabTV’s “Integral World” 7/13/18

Related Material:
My Favorite Job – Vocation Or Mission?
A Person’s Purpose
What Is My Life Mission?

Filed under: Children, Education - No Comments →

My new article on Linkedin “Time to Revamp Our Thinking about Our Children”

According to an essay published on July 20, 2021 in the Journal of Adolescence, over the past several years, there has been a significant increase in loneliness at school among teenagers. The essay, titled “Worldwide increases in adolescent loneliness,” written by acclaimed Professor of psychology Jean M. Twenge and several other researchers, concludes that between 2012 and 2018, “adolescent loneliness increased … in 36 of 37 countries. Worldwide, nearly twice as many adolescents in 2018 scored high in loneliness than in 2000, with much of the increase occurring after 2012.” However, the researchers add that “Even with the recent increases … the majority of students did not report high levels of loneliness.”

So are adolescents lonely or are they not? I think that the problem is not that they are lonely, but that we don’t understand how they think and feel, and therefore often attribute to them emotional states that they are not experiencing because we think they’re built like us, but they are not.

Today’s teenagers are smarter, more sensitive, and more understanding than we often think. They look at us, at what we have (or have not) accomplished, at the consequences of our actions, and draw their own conclusions. They’re not as excited as we were about academic titles, about traveling, or about accumulating wealth and possessions. Everything is accessible for them at the touch of a finger on the cell-phone, and they don’t have the drive that we had to achieve, to be “somebody.” They see how “happy” it has made us and what a world we’ve built because of it.

When I look at my grandchildren, they don’t seem to me like they are suffering. It is a new generation with a different character. They ask pragmatic questions; they want to know what they will get out of everything they do, and when they don’t get satisfactory answers, they order a pizza delivery and stay at home with their social media apps and games. At best, they might ask a friend or two over, but often, they will communicate with friends only on social media.

Yet, the fact that they are alone does not mean that they are lonely. Some are lonely, and some or not, just as we were. For them, being alone for many hours does not mean that they are lonely. When we wanted to socialize, we went outside. When they want to socialize, they go online. They’re living in a different world, and the sooner we realize it, the easier we will make it on them to grow in it.

We must support them and care for them, but we must also let them grow on their own terms and in their own way. They’ll have their challenges like the rest of us, and they will need our help, but we must not force our worldview on them, since it will only prevent them from developing the worldview that they need to have in today’s reality, where everything is mixed and interconnected—physical and virtual, local and global, alone and together.

I am not implying that we should not see that they do not go the wrong way. However, we should also not force them to go our way just because we think our way was right for us. In fact, if it was right for us when we grew up, it is certainly not right for them, since the world where we grew up doesn’t exist anymore; we’re living in a different world. Therefore, today’s adolescents must find their own way, and we must help them search for it with confidence, knowing that they have a cushion to fall back on if they need to.

In addition to the above, I would teach them the basics of the wisdom of Kabbalah. The wisdom of Kabbalah is the science of connecting people, so learning the principles of positive connections with people can be very helpful in a hyper-connected world. I think that if we adopt this approach, we will go through our children’s adolescence more easily and pleasantly.
[285749]

Filed under: Children, Education, New Publications - No Comments →

Question: Is restriction a condition for human development? Do I have to be aware of the reason and the purpose of the restriction so that I can advance quickly?

Answer: Restrictions provide us great opportunities to explore the world and the space around us. Without restrictions, we would not be able to feel anything.

We feel any system, action, or attribute due to restricting forces: why, for what, how?

If I do not encounter an obstacle and my hand does not touch anything, I seemingly fall through, I am lost, and I do not feel anything. And when I come across something, the interaction with the obstacle generates information in me.

Therefore, education is restriction.
[250404]
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah” 6/16/19

Related Material:
How To Raise Children
Educating A Man!
The Use Of Physical Punishment With Children

Filed under: Children, Education - No Comments →

New Life 1313 – Parents’ Agreement On The Education Of Their Children
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Yael Leshed-Harel

As parents, we want our children to lead serious, balanced lives and to know how to relate to other people. We need to set the right example of agreement and acceptance between parents, an example of mutual respect. Children need to see that their parents are as one, sharing the same views. It is a principle that stems from “a man and a woman, Divinity dwells between them.” This means that the connection between them is the strongest. As a result of the parents’ example, the children will learn that they too need to try to live in agreement and mutual support. As parents we try to be as one, to share views, desires, and our perspective of each other.
[285055]
From KabTV’s “New Life 1313 – Parents’ Agreement On The Education Of Their Children,”7/18/21

Video: Play Now | Download

Audio: Play Now | Download

Filed under: Children, Education, Man and Woman, New Life - No Comments →

Question: A teacher, who has always considered teaching as her vocation,  loves her work very much, and loves children, writes to you:

“I have been teaching for 20 years. I watched your clip where you say that school destroys the individuality of the child and that wrong things are being taught. I was trained to teach mathematics and I am teaching it. You say: ‘The problem is with teachers.’ Is there no problem with children?”

Answer: The matter, of course, is not in mathematics but in the general attitude of a person to person, a child to a teacher.

It is natural that children have complaints against their elders. They believe that everyone owes them and that they, as children, deserve special attention and treatment. And in fact it is so on one hand. On the other hand, we do not educate children.

Comment: But this teacher educates. She writes that she invests in them.

My Response: She put mathematics into them but not an attitude to people.

That is the problem. And this has nothing to do with mathematics or any other subject. This is the most important subject schools should teach. And it is not there. There are no such subjects in school, such lessons, such exams, nothing. There is discipline.

School does not transform a child into a person. It makes him a physicist, a mathematician, someone who knows how to tighten the screws, and so on.

Question: Is this why such an answer is so essential for her? It is humiliating the teacher in front of the whole class!

Answer: A student does not even feel this, or he feels like a hero, an open, straight forward person. It seems to him that he did absolutely right.

Comment: But she sat with him in the evenings preparing him for the Olympics.

My Response: It does not matter. She did all this because she is a teacher. She still did not bring up a person in him, and that is what she gets in return.

This is not her problem. It is the problem of all education and upbringing. We give children some kind of education, but we do not give upbringing. They leave school—every day after school and generally at the end of school—and they are beasts.

Comment: You said a terrible thing: “They are beasts.” And we are to blame for this?

My Response: Of course. If parents are always busy at work and children are at school or somewhere with each other doing who knows what and how, what do you expect?

Comment: They are mostly on their Smartphones.

My Response: And that is what they get from there.

This will continue until humanity comes to its senses and takes the whole matter into its own hands under the strictest control. Because a person cannot see and hear everything that is given to him. He must be brought up! And upbringing involves a very serious attitude to life. If this does not happen, then we see where everything is going. Even scientists now measure the existence of humanity in decades.

Question: What would you do in her place? Now she is faced with such a question: should she enter the completely silent class? The whole class was silent!

Answer: It is necessary to explain to everyone, to work on her mistakes and mistakes of all teachers, all students, in order to understand where this terrible flaw in education is.

Question: Do you think that teachers, the principal, and the students can sit down and talk about this? Can such a conversation happen?

Answer: I think it can. It depends on the class, of course.

Comment: In high school, for example.

My Response: It can.

Question: So the children are ready to have such a conversation with them?

Answer: If you do not speak, nothing will come of it. Then it will all be in vain. And, of course, it will be a pity for all her tears and efforts. I sympathize with her, I understand her, but she cannot relate to it the way she got used to during those decades of her work.

Question: You mean when she was respected as a teacher? When they would say “Thank you”?

Answer: Yes. She respected herself.

Question: Now a generation has grown up that says terrible things to your face. And we raised it?

Answer: Of course. We did.

Question: So we need to sit down together and talk. What would you say to children if you were a teacher?

Answer: Let’s understand our life, our relationships. Well, okay, we are already old people, but you are the next generation. What should you be like to make life kind, good, safe, reliable, and so on? And what should we do? How can we raise such people?

We need to talk about it, we need to think about it. Because our main goal is to raise a person, not a mathematician, a physicist, or anything else.

Comment: It will not be easy to soften them up.

Answer: No, there is no need to soften them up. They should realize at least somewhat that the world to which everything is heading is inhuman, cruel, and mechanical, a very unpleasant world, unsuitable for existence.

Question: And they will understand this if we talk to them?

Answer: I think so.

Question: Can these children change?

Answer: Yes, but not with one conversation.

Question: So the change will happen through a series of conversations?

Answer: Even if it is several years. What is the difference? We have to push it all the time.
[274853]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 10/5/20

Related Material:
There Should Be No Schools
How Genius Children Lose Their Abilities
The Stenciled Education

Filed under: Children, Education, News - No Comments →

In the News (NewYorkTimes): “All over the world, countries are confronting population stagnation and a fertility bust, a dizzying reversal unmatched in recorded history that will make first-birthday parties a rarer sight than funerals, and empty homes a common eyesore. …

“Demographers now predict that by the latter half of the century or possibly earlier, the global population will enter a sustained decline for the first time.

“A planet with fewer people could ease pressure on resources, slow the destructive impact of climate change and reduce household burdens for women. ”

My Response: It will be good for everyone. We will start thinking about the things we need to get rid of, what we need to stop producing, what is excessive. What is humanity occupied with? Production. So we will not produce what is not necessary.

Consumption will decrease and the birth rate will decrease accordingly. After all, in any family, when they want to have a child, they still plan: “Can we afford it or not, how will we cover the costs?”

Question: Do you think reason will prevail?

Answer: Everyone already has it, every family.

Only in animals everything is built on instinct, but another chain works for them: less food causes them to have a lower birth rate. Automatically. They do not think that it is necessary to give birth less, they have it instilled within their nature: less food, lower birth rate.

Question: Can you say that over time, we will become more conscious?

Answer: No, it is the same egoism that controls us and urges us to either give birth or not to give birth.

Question: Will it now lead us to the fact that predominantly we will not give birth?

Answer: People do not want to take care of others. Egoism is growing to such an extent. Why should I invest in these children who will not even thank me later? They just leave the house calmly as if they do not owe me anything, and I would like to demand at least something from them.

Everything revolves around egoism. Even if my children give birth to grandchildren, it still requires some kind of participation from me. I am not going to be the kind of grandparent who is burdened with the new generations.

Rabash said very simply about the attitude of children to their parents: “Close your mouth and open your pocket.” That’s it!

Comment: And it will get more and more drastic. In addition, the future is not particularly promising. In addition: “I want a quiet life.” And the birth rate will fall…

My Response: Everything will be fine. This is an auto regulated system by nature, no one else. Or call it “The Creator.”

Question: And what does He want?

Answer: He wants to create the most suitable conditions for our correction, for our self-correction.

We are at a crossroads: which part of our correction will the upper governance take upon itself and which part of our correction will we consciously take over.

So far, I do not see any movement toward this, no inclination on the part of humanity that realizes it should be different, more sociable, more ready to accept the challenges of nature consciously, and somehow address this, set these tasks for itself.

I do not see that research centers are created, as is usually done in humanity, to study this phenomenon: what is happening to us, to humanity, to society, to the family, to children and parents? There should be a lot of such institutions, different ones in every nation, in every group, in every country. We have to study all this.

We must produce all kinds of research on this topic. Instead, I see that not only statesmen are not concerned about this at all, I am not talking about them at all, they are only interested in their place, but even society, men, women, and families. There is no pressure, no challenge from society to create such research centers.

I have not even seen serious public research on the topic of the pandemic, really serious ones, not medical, not strictly specific, but concerning society, family, children, and so on. I do not see that they are engaged in this or that they are concerned about it.
[284184]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 6/10/21

Related Material:
Lazy People Make The World Go Round
What Is Of Greater Concern To Us: Good News Or Bad News?
Is The Coronavirus With Us Forever?

Filed under: Children, Crisis, Education, Globalization, News - No Comments →