Michael Laitman, On Quora: “What’s a good relationship tip that sounds like a bad tip?“
Agree to have arguments on a schedule. For example, agree with your partner that every Friday, you are going to have an argument—to tease and to poke each other. We do such actions subconsciously anyway. They are natural. Nature itself urges us to develop our connection with each other.
However, in order to stay in control and make sure we do not go overboard and become hateful, it is of utmost importance that we maintain the right intention: that our aim for approaching such an action is solely in order to strengthen our connection and our embrace of each other. That is, in order to better connect, we take a step back and look at the other person a little critically, like a game. It is as if we take one step back, and then two steps forward.
While it might appear to be a relationship tip only for couples, it extends to relations on many scales. Moreover, if we would learn how to continually strengthen our relationships in such a way in places like classrooms, schools and workplaces, then we would be constantly mindful of the times when we should be more remote and closer to each other as a means for increasing our connection.
When we learn how to simultaneously hold criticism of others and rise above that criticism, then we gain the key tool for managing relationships. Nature operates according to this principle across many scales. For instance, the pulses of our heart, our brain and our several systems function in such an interchanging way, and learning how to manage these two levels can sync us with nature. It is the key to the ability for constantly growing love: to alternate between the negative and the positive, like night and day.
Based on the video “You Wouldn’t Believe That THIS Would Improve Your Relationship” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman and Semion Vinokur. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.