Answer: Desires fall on us from above, but you need to determine how to sort them. You need to be in an environment that will help you sort which desires are important and which are not. Everything depends on the society you are in.
If you get in the right environment, listen to what is being said in it, and become imbued by their ideas, these ideas gradually become yours and you begin to move forward in that direction.
So, from all your desires you take the desires that are most important to advance in this direction, add your thoughts to them, your mind, and thus develop correctly.
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah” 4/14/19