Question: According to the sources, upon attainment, a Kabbalist places himself under the influence of the light. I think that I have had such initial attainment in my life. But I received such a blow of energy that I could not even remember myself. It was physically very painful. Do such exceptional states come in order to awaken me?
Answer: No, this has nothing to do with spirituality. Spiritual attainments are absolutely good and colorful. The light that fills us is soft and warm. It is not what you are depicting. But your attainments nevertheless lead you toward goodness and warmth. So carry on.
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah,” 1/12/20