Baal HaSulam, Shamati 1, “There Is None Else Besides Him”: Only if that person has a true desire will he receive help from above.
True desire arises gradually, precisely due to the fact that a person falls and rises, falls and rises, becomes disappointed, and then again searches for the Creator. Only in this way does the correct striving toward the Creator hatch in a person.
Today we still do not understand what the correct aspiration means. After all, it is gradually sorted out from all previous incorrect, not quite clearly defined relations with the Creator.
Only if that person has a true desire will he receive help from above, and he will always be shown that he is at fault in the present state. Namely, he is sent thoughts and views that are against the work. See how a person is manipulated! This is in order for him to see that he is not in wholeness with the Creator.
That is, he is not ready yet, does not understand and feel what it means to reveal the Creator, to define Him as the only existing source of everything that happens inside and outside of him.
As much as he overcomes, he always sees that he is farther from holiness than others, from striving toward the Creator, from a clear rapprochement with Him. Moreover, he sees that he is a loser in comparison with others because he does not feel that he is inside them.
He sees that they are generally satisfied, calm, not reacting so sharply and seriously to their failures, and they live like that. Of course, they would like to find the Creator in their life, but if He is not there, then they can do something else because there are some other possible states, not just the continuous search for the Creator.
Therefore, he feels that he is in a lower, more unfortunate state than other people who, in general, can feel themselves in connection with the Creator, understand what is happening, and see that everything is in order. But this person feels that nothing is revealed to him, nothing is shining. What should he do?
Although he occasionally receives some excitement from the Creator, some approximations and insights, they immediately disappear, and he again falls into gray darkness, into the place of baseness
But in the end, if a person does not despair, these are exactly the states that cause him to come to realize that only the Creator can help him and reveal his real feelings, so that he can feel the Creator both inside and outside himself.
From Kab TV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah,” 11/24/19