Do you want to say that you, yourself choose this path? Why? Somebody somehow influenced you. From where? How? You yourself do not know and do not remember. This doesn’t matter. The fact is that today you feel that you want it. But it is not your choice.
Your choice is not in selecting the vector of direction of where to go but in displaying even greater strengthening of the goal at every stage of your path. When your arms weaken, your legs give way, when you fall and have to get up to go forward again, this is when your freewill is manifested.
The Creator organizes a descent for you; you must understand why He organized it for you, and thus implement it correctly and go forward.
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah,” 8/18/19