At the beginning, the spiritual path seams good, attractive, inviting, seemingly promising us all kinds of attainments and revelations. But then we begin to understand that we need to pay for everything, that what is required from us is to bring ourselves to equivalence of form with the spiritual degree. The path becomes harder, not so attractive anymore, even repulsive, confusing, humiliating.
This is the time that the Maror (bitter herb) symbolizes. Indeed, it is not easy to walk through it because it is like searching for the goal in complete darkness, through a great many dangerous trails, narrow bridges, climbing up the mountain to the King’s palace. Reaching it seems as likely as shooting a tiny coin from a great distance.
We need to sharpen our senses, to become accustomed to the new state, to rise above reason to a new kind of sense. We need to increase the importance of the goal and the Creator. Otherwise, the spiritual goal loses its importance in our egoistic desire. We see that many of our friends leave the path because they could not grow and develop the feeling of importance of the spiritual path within themselves, above the darkness and difficulties.
“And only the heroes,” as Baal HaSulam writes, will achieve the goal, through lack of choice and thanks to mutual guarantee. This is the period of Maror (bitter herb). Only those who have established themselves correctly will develop the new system within them called faith, will start working in bestowal, disconnect from their ego, and exit from the exile to the land flowing with milk and honey.*
We must use each other as parts of one soul. And therefore, my work with the friends is so that I see myself responsible for their connection, to bring them to the adhesion with the Creator, in order to bring Him contentment. I should treat them like the Creator, as if the Creator needs them, not me.**
Our work is against the will to receive, which needs to be inverted, building the will to bestow above it. We need to reveal the whole evil of the ego, to “chew” it like Maror until we feel all the bitterness because it stands in our way to adhesion with the Creator. All the pleasant and delightful tastes in our ego that were sweeter than honey are now turning into horrible bitterness that is impossible to tolerate.
We start to hate everything that brings sweet egoistic fulfillment and we are willing to feel such a bitterness in it that will help us escape. Escaping is the only thing we can do.
We find this bitterness in every labor we do in Egypt; we want to reach bestowal and we cannot. And we cannot turn this bitterness into sweetness, into good, so that bestowal would feel sweet to us. We can still feel bitterness in receiving, as it is written: “And the children of Israel sighed from the labor.” But bestowal becomes sweet only outside of Egypt, after receiving the Torah, and the correction of Bina, forty years in the desert.
And so, our main work in Egypt is to chew the bitter herb, the Maror. Until we chew it completely, we will not exit Egypt.***
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/22/18, Writings of Rabash,”What Is, If He Swallows the Bitter Herb, He Will Not Come Out, in the Work?“
* (Minute 0:22)
** (Minute 37:50)
*** (Minute 44:37)