Answer: There is one very simple method of exiting yourself: from your small desires to bigger desires, to desires that are properly focused. What is more, you exit yourself with regard to others.
Therefore, a person wasn’t created by himself but in a society or even in a small group that engages in developing the desires correctly, in clarifying them properly, and thus correcting them.
By mutually helping one another exit himself to others, we begin to understand that the others are not really others but simply seem to us that way in order to help us develop ourselves. This means that we were intentionally given the illusion that we exist in a big world, which we see on the outside, so we will be able to study and explore ourselves internally. If it were inside us, we wouldn’t be able to study ourselves.
The Kabbalistic method explains how we should focus ourselves so as to treat others properly and to merge with them and adhere to them. To merge and to adhere means to attain love. Love is adhesion (Dvekut), resemblance, equivalence, and connection. At the same time, I suddenly realize that the same desires, which seemingly exist on the outside, are actually mine, and then the whole picture of the world around me disappears and there is no difference between them.
By attaining my real state, when all the desires around me clearly become mine emotionally, the picture of the world around me, that is now felt as a huge field of my desires, disappears.
It turns out that as I advance I gradually include everyone more and more inside me. These desires are called clothing, a hall, a yard, etc. They have to be corrected, which means to be purified by the Light of Hassadim (Light of bestowal). Clothing refers to the desires that are closest to us.
It says in the Torah: “and he shall wash his clothes and be purified.” If the priest determines that a person is pure and he is ill but it is not leprosy, it means that his desires are on a level where they can be healed and corrected to love and bestowal unto others. In order to do that, the clothing (the desires) have to be purified by the Light of Hassadim (mercy) and then everything is all right.
From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 2/20/14