In the News (from Psychologies): “Observing for 40 years how a couple communicates with each other, psychologist John Gottman can with a 100% probability predict whether they will be happy together years later or their relationship has no future.
“Happy couples see the positive in each other, something for which they can say ‘thank you,’ hug and just be happy that life has brought him or her with such a wonderful person.
“They purposefully build a relationship of respect and gratitude. Unhappy couples, on the contrary, are looking all the time to find faults with a partner, catching his or her every mistake.
“Future unhappy couples look calm when talking about their relationship, but their heart rates were quick, their sweat glands were active, and their blood flow was fast.
“Couples who maintained a happy marriage years later, from the beginning demonstrated low physiological stress. They felt comfortable and confident, which was expressed in a caring, loving attitude to their partner. Even during an argument they can create an atmosphere of trust, warmth and love for each other.
“The main reason for divorce is disregard for the partner. Those of us who are looking for the slightest excuse to criticize and not become used to responding to partner’s requests with respect, miss 50% of the positive things that are created for them, but see the negative where there is none. They kill love. Anger and indifference mean the death of relationship.
“Compassion is the most important indicator of the stability of marriage, and the more we are practicing it, the stronger it is.
“It’s not about gifts, but how we communicate with each other every day: to actively look for a reason to be grateful for anything during the day, not to focus on the negative, not to think badly about the partner if he or she made a mistake.
“The problem of unhappy couples is often that they cannot be happy for each other. To be together and share the joy, the success of a loved one, is as important as to be close during the time of difficulties.”
My Comment: It is puzzling: Is it only in the 21st century that we have begun to understand family relationships? And in the past, was this wisdom not known to our ancestors?