Rabash, Letter 40: And when one begins to feel the love of his friend, joy and pleasure immediately begin to awaken in him….because he always knew that he was the only one who cared for his own well being. But the minute he discovers that his friend cares for him, it evokes within him immeasurable joy, and he can no longer care for himself, since man can toil only where he feels pleasure. And since he is beginning to feel pleasure in caring for his friend, he naturally cannot think of himself.
We can never satisfy ourselves, even though it seems to us that we are doing everything for the sake of this. Our common general Kli is built such that only what we get from outside can fulfill us and not what each one of us produces. So we need to fulfill each other.
This is the most essential secret of unity, when people begin to feel that they can fulfill each other: each one includes within himself the desires of the others and begins to work on them, and the Light fills everyone. To the degree that each one is integrated in the desire of the other, the Light fills these desires.
The main rule for true elevation in the way of the Creator is a condition of unity among friends. And when are the friends united? This is when they gather together and each one humbles himself before the others by seeing the greatness of the friends. Even if someone doesn’t see the friends as great, he must obligate himself to see their greatness. If a person doesn’t see the others as higher than he is, he must examine himself.
In a Kabbalistic group, a person who studies correctly must always see the others as higher than he is. This is not some kind of unique state of elevation, but the normal state of the group.
He is envious of the friends with a good envy; he is drawn after them, takes an example from them. And if there is no envy, this is bad. A person must be afraid that everyone will discover that he is valueless and nothing, and will begin to despise him.
This feeling must be permanent, for it is very helpful for advancement. Everyone must be happy that he is given such a feeling, which is a useful means for advancement. So it is necessary to be concerned that it will be constant: seeing how dedicated the friends are, how they sacrifice themselves by being in much worse situations than you, and at the same time they are investing greater efforts than you do.
From small examples like these are created a yearning from “me” to “we,” because if the friends are higher than I am, I want to be with them, to be included with them, so that I will dissolve in them completely.
From the Convention In St. Petersburg “Day Two” 9/20/14, Lesson 4