The subject of the second lesson at the convention in Saint Petersburg is “The Cyclical Nature of the Evil Inclination.”
In my opinion, everything is clear here. Wherever I turn, I am immersed in my own evil inclination. Whatever I do, whomever I think about, it is only to exploit this person, to benefit myself somehow, and after that forget him, in that I remove him from my mind completely.
If I become familiar with the force of my ego, I will gradually be able to feel how disgusting and despicable the discovery of this evil within me is to me, how much I would like to be released from it and transform it into good. For in fact, it won’t leave me, I simply transform it into a yearning for others, into bestowal to others, into love for them.
That is how I value my foul and terrible evil inclination, even though strangers don’t see anything wrong with it.
First, I reach awareness that I have maintained and cultivated my ego, I have thought about how I can fill it. After that, I see that it enslaves me and I don’t enslave it. So what am I wasting my life on? Now I begin to hate it, because it connects me to it, obliges me to do everything for it. I must work for its sake all the time, because it, like Pharaoh, secretly reigns over me.
And then I reach a state where I discover this control, feel how the ego is choking me to the point I can no longer remain in it; it is killing me. As a result, I am released from its clutches.
And when I am detached from it, from its control over me, I will begin to control it. I will begin to manage it with the help of the Upper Light.
From the Lesson on the Topic: “Preparation for the Convention, 9/9/14