Answer: Certainly, you need to search for desires in order to bestow to others through them. Suppose that you decide to bestow to me and you bring me a ball or a cake. But it’s forbidden for me to eat cake because I am diabetic. I don’t want to play with the ball. So what have you done? You first need to clarify what my desire is: What can make me happy and what will I enjoy, and then behave accordingly.
If you understand that the best thing for me is not a ball and not cake but correction, then you take my desires together with your desires and as a middle Partzuf you begin to raise them higher to the Ali Elyon (above the Elyon) in order to bring me the Light of correction and the Light of fulfillment. This is called saving me from the prison from which I cannot save myself. That is how each one acts towards the other.
To have the right intention, this means to be in the right relationship with others in order to help them to attain a connection with the Creator. This is because it is precisely this that the soul of the person wants the most!
You don’t need to ask the friend about what he loves or what he wants unless we are talking about luxuries and not about food for the soul. Besides the necessities, a person only needs to discover the Creator. And he can get this solely and only if the friends care about him. And the friends will care about him only on condition that he also cares about them. This mutual relationship is called mutual guarantee.
From the Preparation for the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/24/14