Answer: Because I give a present to a friend not because I want to deceive him, entice him, and obtain some simple earthly benefit from him, but only for the sake of the spiritual goal.
The point in the heart is important to me, and I work from that point on his desire to receive to fulfill his desire to receive; that is, I give him a gift. But I do it because it is important for me to attain the Creator; He is the root cause of everything (No. 1). For this, I operate my ego (No. 2) and give a present to my friend’s ego (No. 3).
I can influence his ego with a gift, but I influence his point in the heart by the Light that Reforms (No. 4). I cannot influence his point in the heart; it is a spark from above, a part of divinity from above. But the Surrounding Light does influence it because starting with my first action I made this calculation that attaining the Creator is more important to me than pleasing my egoism. That’s why I do all these steps even though I would gladly remain lying on the couch and doing nothing.
My friend begins to wonder: Why am I doing this for him? If we study together, I could tell him directly that the intention of the gift is for our spiritual advancement, that I bring him the gift to buy a friend, and with his help to reveal the Creator. And when the friend is awakened by my words, my gifts, and the Surrounding Light, he will also make the calculation that it is most important to attain the Creator (No. 5).
After many such gifts (one is not enough), I “buy” the friend. In ordinary life, without the addition of the importance of the Creator, we just “bribe” a person and his egoism through giving him presents. As a result, he begins to show me favor too, to help me, as usual: “You give to me, I’ll give to you.” Or we have common interests and we help each other realize our egoistic desires: go fishing or play soccer together.
However, this scheme is very special because I, through the Creator, begin to start influencing the friend, his point in the heart. From this, his point in the heart is awakened and he is compelled to do the same actions toward me. He must do so! From his point in the heart, his egoism is influenced (No. 6), and, with it, he gives me gifts (No. 7). It turns out that he performs the same cycle of actions toward me.
Since we both work in such “cycles,” we bring our points in the heart closer together. They begin to work on the same wavelength so closely that they are as if under one blanket (No. 8). And then, due to the Surrounding Light, the “blanket” turns into a screen (Masach) (No. 9).
It is an inexorable law. A man can cry for a thousand years, but until he has fulfilled the laws, it will not work. If the requirements of the law are fulfilled, then success is guaranteed. It is called: “The law is fixed and cannot be violated.”
We need to understand that we exist within nature in its system of laws. We only need to learn these laws thoroughly and find out where we have made omissions until we obtain the desired result.
From the Preparation for the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/11/13