When I give a friend presents, I bring myself closer to the Creator because I perform the same actions of bestowal that the Creator performs regarding the desire of the friend, and I thus buy him, as Kabbalists advise: “Buy yourself a friend.” I work with his desire to receive and don’t look at the person. I don’t see a person before me but only a desire to receive. His face and his character don’t matter. What’s important is that there is a spark in him that yearns for the Creator. I have to have a partner who has the same spark that I have in order to reach the Creator. So I have no choice because he was sent to me from heaven as my partner and I have to accept him and work with him.
This means that “the Creator puts a person’s hand on the good fate.” This means that He brings him to a group and says: “Take it!” So I take, since I simply have no other choice. Here the rigid laws of nature work, like in physics: I have to use these forces in order to reach the desired result.
We have to connect at least two sparks, two Reshimot (reminiscences), two yearnings for the Creator, but the friend’s spark, just like my spark, is wrapped in a thick shell of egoistic desire. I can penetrate and reach this spark only if I buy his ego. This is very simple: I have to know what he wants and start bestowing and giving him one present after another. Thus I bribe his ego and he will stop rejecting me. The result will be that our sparks will get closer to one another.
My goal is not the friend, but the Creator! And although our intentions are totally Lo Lishma (not for Her sake), at the moment, the Light reforms us. The Light shines on us and begins to work between us. By giving the friend a present, I don’t only neutralize his ego, but also evoke and draw the Surrounding Light that begins to operate on my spark and on his spark. As a result our sparks get closer.
Our egoistic desires also get closer. We see that we can delight one another and fill one another even with our corrupt desires. Together we will feel better and things will be easier! We build a center by our common efforts and arrange everything in it and serve one another. It’s worthwhile. Everything is arranged that way in order to facilitate the first steps along the spiritual path for us.
Our world wasn’t created artificially or by chance. It was created as a result of the shattering of the vessels and therefore it is arranged that way in order to enable us to rise from this specific state to the world of Ein Sof (Infinity). We have all the means we need here, but we only have to follow the advice of Kabbalists.
From the Preparation to the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/11/13