Baal HaSulam, Shamati, Article 3: “The Matter of Spiritual Attainment:” Since the will to receive is called “creature” and a “new discernment,” the utterance begins precisely from the place where the will to receive begins to receive impressions. The speech is discernments, parts of impressions. For here there is already a correlation between the Light and the will to receive.
Question: What is Light?
Answer: Something special is evoked in you, an exceptional phenomenon, and you call it Light. When it comes, you know that that’s what you call it.
At the moment, however, you don’t have the right vessel to feel this phenomenon. Unless you acquire the spiritual attainment, all your desires are aimed only at your self-benefit: “everything for myself, for my own good, to use others, everything for my own good and against others.” This is more or less the way things work today, and so being in these desires you cannot feel the phenomenon of bestowal, love, cooperation, connection and an aspiration outwards—all the things that are called “Light.” For you it isn’t Light but darkness.
Sometimes it gets dark and bad: You feel helpless and you don’t feel like doing anything; you don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. This is how your desires appear to you without the typical illumination in our world, without the slightest illumination that will light up the darkness in the vessel.
After all, in our meager desires only a tiny glow can show, giving a little bit of life and enjoyment. This spark is so small that it can penetrate even egoistic vessels of receiving. I live in them on the levels of the still, vegetative, animate nature; the whole human level is above this and I am not part of it.
There are desires to receive and desires to bestow on that level that will be revealed in me one opposite the other. The left line is the evil inclination, the true ego that is revealed to the extent that I want to connect with others and I do so. Then I draw the Light that Reforms and try to acquire the good force and work between the two inclinations in the middle line, which is called Adam (human).
In the meantime I am on the level of the animate, under the domination of my small ego, receiving only a ” thin candle” in the vessel that is made of the first three levels. From a spiritual point of view, this is not considered life or an existence. So our world is called a virtual world, it is as if it exists below the level of consciousness.
From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/12/12, Shamati #3