In the News (from LiveScience): “Saying ‘thank you’ may be a simple way to boost marital happiness, new research suggests. This cycle of appreciation may also make for longer-lasting relationships.
“‘Feeling appreciated by your partner influences how you act in your relationship, and how much you want to stay in that relationship,’ study researcher Amie Gordon, of the University of California, Berkeley, told LiveScience. ‘Instead of just waiting for the other person to make you feel good, you can jumpstart that cycle and take it into your own hands by focusing on what’s good in your relationship.’
“‘What goes wrong in a lot of relationships is if you start to take your partner for granted,’ Gordon told LiveScience. ‘You get used to having them in your life and forget why you chose to be with them.’
“They [the researchers] found that, the more often a participant acted understanding, validating and caring toward their partner, the more appreciated their partner felt, and the happier both were in the relationship. These behavioral displays — leaning in to your partner when they are speaking, making eye contact, giving comforting touches — are important ways that people show gratitude.”
My Comment: There is nothing new in these suggestions. The question is how to overcome pride, enter into the feelings of the other, and to think not about one’s own fulfillment, but about good fulfillment of the other? How can we transform egoistic love into altruistic? This should be taught in a short Kabbalah course because it is the method of correction of our nature from reception to bestowal!