The desire to receive cannot be spurred without the “bridle and the reins” of its rider. It must be under someone’s control, like donkey that is given a sack of grain, blindfolded, and directed in one direction. Only then can the desire to receive work.
Our advancement and our correction occur only by the Light. The Light manages us by sometimes increasing its pressure and sometimes letting us feel some freedom. But we have to feel and understand where exactly this freedom is given to us. It’s possible that where we think that we are free, we are not free at all. If we understand where we can react and in what way exactly, then we fulfill our participation in our independent development.
But before we can do that, we have to discover how the Light constantly creates and revives our desire to receive by directly managing it and keeping it on a short leash. All its actions are meant so that the desire will be impressed by the Light’s actions upon it, and instead of just feeling good or bad, it will begin to find out: “Why do I feel good and why do I feel bad, why does one feeling change into the other feeling, what is required of me, and how can I avoid the bad feeling and draw the good feeling?”
This means that I have to know what’s good or bad for me, and what the plan is of the One who changes my feelings from one extreme to the other. How can I find and perceive Him, how can I discover His plan and understand His intention? On the whole, all these egoistic questions stem from the fact that I feel bad in this life since otherwise the desire to receive wouldn’t be evoked. The bad feeling is a feeling of deficiency that requires a filling.
At first I just don’t feel as good as I did before. Then it becomes less and less pleasant, until finally the level of pleasantness comes down to zero. Then it becomes worse and worse, until it becomes unbearable. This means that the states I am in can be very different ranging from very bad to very good.
Thus the Light plays with my desire to receive and brings about changes all the time, so that the desire will learn about itself and about the different fillings. After having perceived enough internal discernments, a person can stabilize his attitude towards the One who summons them and want to discover Him. This is because He is the source of all the good and evil in the life of the desire to receive. Thus we advance.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/18/12, Shamati #8