Rabash, Shlavei HaSulam (The Steps of the Ladder), “What is a Blessing and a Curse in the Work”: Each day, man needs to start anew and say that today he will be awarded to see “I am your God” and that he will not escape from the battle. He should not say “I already prayed many times that God will give me the vessels of bestowal, and I will exit the desire to receive for myself, and I did not receive any answer for my prayer, so what is the benefit of praying again?”
The truth is that we never request vessels of bestowal because it is impossible.
Yes we ask for what is called “bestowal.” We ask to be able to love the other, but that is how we call it; this is not bestowal; it is not love for the other or bestowing desires. We never truly pray for the spiritual world, or the spiritual state, or spiritual vessels. In our current desire, in our current mind and feeling, we simply are not capable to request it, and we do not even know what it is.
Therefore, it is said: “I labored and I found.” One needs to put effort in what Kabbalists tell us to do, to follow strictly their recommendations, and to understand clearly that we do not have any chance to come directly and independently to the correct prayer; we cannot break our heart and raise a request for correction (MAN).
At first each one of our prayers is based on how to receive, to gain, and to take advantage of the friends, the Creator, of any one. That is the fact and there is no place to escape from it. But above us, there is a system of breakage that translates our actions, our broken requests, to correction.
On the way from above downward, the desires broke, and on the way back, when I rise from the broken state, they are corrected in this system. They rise as if I requested what is needed, as if I really plead for love and bestowal to the other and for connection with the friends and the Creator whom I am ready to accept as goodness.
This system is the broken world of Nikudim and the world of Atzilut that was created later is the adapter: On one side of this system, there are the false world, the worlds of BYA that are disconnected from the Creator, and the states opposite to bestowal, in which we exist. On the other side, there is the Creator, perfection.
My plea for love is a lie, but we all arrange this lie in a correct form as if we really want something besides self-benefit. If between us, we come together in the correct form, if we arrange the study and all our actions correctly, then our request goes through this system that corrects it, and this is what is called “I labored and I found.”
Although we don’t know the world of Atzilut, it does its work. And that is why we need to do exactly what Kabbalists tell us without lying to ourselves or being ashamed. It is true that we do not request spirituality, but scream like a baby and mother knows what he needs. Mother needs only a tiny scream from the baby to know what his needs are.
This is what is required from us. “Do everything that is in your power to do,” and this will bring good results.
From the Arava Convention 2/25/12, Lesson 7