Question: I made all the effort to connect with my friends at the convention, but I failed. When it started raining in the middle of the night, I asked the Creator why He opens the skies but will not open my heart? It must be because I “did not ask for it”… So what should we do, continue these exercises or already understand that we are unable to connect on our own and must turn above for help?
Answer: How can you turn above for help if you have not yet become disappointed in your efforts? What if instead of becoming disappointed, you manage to connect?
Every moment you will continue becoming disappointed; these disappointments must open before you in the forms of your broken vessel. Disappointment is not given to torture you and make you creep on your knees to cry out with your last breath to receive help from the Creator. This is not the purpose.
It is a known fact that you cannot do it on your own, but you must gradually collect these disappointments to discover the depth of your desire this way. They show the depth of your spiritual vessel; this is why you cannot escape them. The Creator collects all your efforts and saves them until the day, the special state, when they all collect into one whole vessel.
It is like saving money in this life, adding a dollar at a time. In our spiritual life, you must also collect your disappointments, your failed attempts, and learn from the way they all add up. But you must keep all this inside you, and appear full of strength to the group.
You must be so meticulous and put so much effort into collecting your disappointments, like a small child putting money in his piggy bank. They will later give you the flavor because “the benefit of the Light is attained in darkness.” You gather and collect these dark moments, which at the end connect in all different forms into such darkness that you are able to distinguish the Light. Light itself does not have a form—just the vessel you build for it.
From the Lesson #4 of the Arava Convention Lesson 2/24/12