Question: When hatred arises between two people, should they figure out the reasons for it with each other, or should the whole group participate?
Answer: It is much easier to figure it out between two people. There are many additional factors inside the group which force us to act in a particular way. Usually it’s better to perform these clarifications among yourselves or in the presence of a few people with whom you can be completely honest because it is not our goal to prove who is right.
None of us can be right—the truth exists in the unification between us. Therefore, the most important thing is to clarify the greatest differences and rise above each of them. We should tune into each other to such a degree that I would perceive all your negative qualities, which you perceive as given to you, as positive ones.
It is the same with our children. We love everything about our child because love outweighs all the negative things. We see almost nothing bad with our own children and even if we do, we immediately gloss it over, sweeten it, and forgive them. In regard to a neighbor’s child, it is the opposite: I not only notice the most minor negative qualities in him, but also I exaggerate them or make them up only because he is a stranger to me.
We need to understand that by uniting with each other, we need to reach a state where I will perceive all the negative things in you as positive.
Talk on Integral Education 12/12/2011