With all our might we are trying to make at least some kind of practical action of bestowal, to see our environment as bestowing and perfect. We desire to lower ourselves before the environment and to see the friends as the greatest people of the generation so that through them we would receive the opportunity to come to the Creator. But the more we try to do this, the more we reveal that we only want this egoistically, in order to profit at everyone’s expense and to use everyone for our own sake.
These opportunities are constantly revealed to a person and he sees that he immediately recognizes them and wants to use society for his own interests. These are the best moments—revelations of truth. And if a person is willing to endure them and to advance without milling around in them, but continuing to move in the direction of bestowal to the environment, then he will reveal his desire more and more.
He will see that no matter how much he tries to act for the sake of bestowal, to bestow to the environment and to reveal the Creator through others in order to bestow to Him—in response to all the attempts he continuously reveals thoughts of the “broken egoism” and opposite intentions, meaning symptoms of the broken heart.
Only to the degree that a person aspires to bestowal and holiness does he reveal the expressions of the impure force that rules over him. And there is nothing you can do about it because we need this revelation. If egoism is revealed to a person so strongly that he comes to hate it and doesn’t want to remain in it, this is a prayer.
After that it is not necessary to ask for anything any longer. If one does, they will be artificial requests. A prayer is the sensation that is in the heart. If a person feels how much he suffers from his egoistic inclinations, which prevent him from using the means that should have brought him to bestowal to the Creator, then this is already enough. Through that he already becomes closer to the Creator. Everything turns out to be the other way around! He is closest to the Creator precisely when he reveals how broken and opposite to the Creator his heart is.
It follows that we should understand that our work is opposite to the work of a religious person who feels perfect, inspired, and exalted. In Kabbalah everything is opposite: the path to the Creator lies through the broken heart, which is precisely the time we discover how opposite we are to Him. And precisely from this profound descent, calling out to the Creator, we reveal that we have a point of contact with Him.
Therefore, joy and despair come simultaneously, supporting each other and uniting together. That is when the Creator becomes revealed as a result of the unification of these two opposites into one.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/9/11