If a group has come to a dead end of mutual hatred, then it’s best to break it up in order to give people a chance to see the truth. Let each person stay home and evaluate his life. The hatred will become less blinding, and he will get a more objective look at the hatred between friends, bringing a little bit of rational thinking into the emotion.
Then he will start thinking about what he should do with this hatred, where it came from, and for what purpose it was given. He will then remember that hatred is the means for an ascent. After all, the Creator created the evil inclination and purposefully evokes the hatred between us so that we would appeal to and reveal Him. The science of Kabbalah is the means for revealing the Creator and you have the opportunity to reveal Him right now.
The Creator only becomes revealed above our egoism, and as long as we feel good we will not appeal to Him. We must understand once and for all that all advancement comes only as a result of negative sensations. If a person feels good, he won’t make a move; this is our nature.
Hence, it is possible to work on love of friends if we imagine all the processes and states that we will have to go through, if we discern them within ourselves and understand them, write them down, go back to the self-analysis a few times a day, and add logic and emotion to it. This is how we begin to control each state, bad or good, and use it as a necessary means or a lever that will allow us to turn it into the next state of advancement.
If each one of us will try to break our ego, our “stony heart,” it means that we enter the heart of our friends. Ultimately, we reveal the only state that exists, which our egoism was concealing from us.
We are not working on our friends or the group, but simply changing our perception of reality and our hearts. The problem isn’t in the friends and the group. There is only my soul, which I need to collect into one whole.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/7/2011, Writings of Rabash